He wants me too much, in fact, but that’s a whole other issue.
For the next half hour, I read quietly as I eat my croissants and sip my coffee.Julian appears to be concentrating on his drone design email, so I don’t bother him; instead, I do my best to focus on my book, a sci-fi thriller I bought at the clinic.My attention, however, keeps wandering, my thoughts straying every couple of pages.
It feels odd to be sitting here reading.Surreal, in a way.It’s as if nothing had happened.As if we hadn’t just survived terror and torture.
As if I hadn’t blown a man’s brains out in cold blood.
As if I hadn’t almost lost Julian again.
My heart starts beating faster, the images from this morning’s nightmare invading my mind with startling clarity.Blood… Julian’s body cut and mangled… His beautiful face with vacant eye sockets…The book slips out of my shaking hands, falling to the floor as I attempt to suck in air through a suddenly constricted throat.
“Nora?”Strong, warm fingers close around my wrist, and through the panicked haze veiling my vision, I see Julian’s bandaged face in front of me.He’s gripping me tightly, his laptop forgotten on the table next to him.“Nora, can you hear me?”
I manage to nod, my tongue coming out to wet my lips.My mouth is dry with fear, and my blouse is sticking to my back from perspiration.My hands are clutching the edge of the seat, my nails digging into the soft leather.A part of me knows that my mind is playing tricks on me—that this extreme anxiety is unfounded—but my body is reacting as if the threat is real.
As if we’re back at that construction site in Tajikistan, at the mercy of Majid and the other terrorists.
“Breathe, baby.”Julian’s voice is soothing as his hand comes up to gently cradle my jaw.“Breathe slowly, deeply… There’s a good girl…”
I do as he says, keeping my eyes on his face as I take deep breaths to manage my panic.After a minute, my heartbeat slows, and my hands uncurl from the edge of my seat.I’m still shaking, but the suffocating fear is gone.
Feeling embarrassed, I wrap my fingers around Julian’s palm and pull his hand away from my face.“I’m okay,” I manage to say in a relatively steady voice.“I’m sorry.I don’t know what came over me.”
He stares at me, his eye glittering, and I see a mixture of rage and frustration in his gaze.His fingers are still gripping mine, as if reluctant to let go.“You’re not okay, Nora,” he says harshly.“You’re anything but okay.”
He’s right.I don’t want to admit it, but he’s right.I haven’t been okay since Julian left the estate to hunt down the terrorists.I’ve been a mess since his departure—and I seem to be even more of a mess now that he’s back.
“I’m fine,” I say, not wanting him to think me weak.Julian was tortured, and he seems to be handling it, whereas I’m falling apart for no good reason.
“Fine?”His eyebrows snap together.“In the past twenty-four hours, you’ve had two panic attacks and a nightmare.That’s not fine, Nora.”
I swallow and look down at my lap, where his hand is holding mine in a tight, possessive grip.I hate the fact that I can’t just brush this stuff off, the way Julian seems to.Sure, he still has some nightmares about Maria, but this ordeal with the terrorists appears to have hardly fazed him.By all rights, he should be the one freaking out, not me.I was barely touched, whereas he’d undergone days of torment.
I’m weak, and I hate it.
“Nora, baby, listen to me.”
I look up, drawn by the softer note in Julian’s voice, and find myself captured by his gaze.
“This is not your fault,” he says quietly.“Any of it.You’ve been through a lot, and you’re traumatized.You don’t need to pretend with me.If you start to panic, tell me, and I’ll help you through it.Do you understand me?”
“Yes,” I whisper, strangely relieved by his words.I know it’s ironic that the man who brought all the darkness into my life is helping me cope with it, but it’s been that way from the beginning.
I’ve always found solace in my captor’s arms.
“Good.Remember that.”He leans over to kiss me, and I meet him halfway, cognizant of his injured ribs.His lips are unusually tender as they touch mine, and I close my eyes, my remaining anxiety fading as heated need warms my core.My hands find themselves on the back of his neck, and a moan vibrates low in my throat as his tongue invades my mouth, his taste familiar and darkly seductive at the same time.
He groans as I kiss him back, my tongue curling around his.His right arm wraps around my back, bringing me closer to him, and I feel the growing tension in his powerful body.His breathing speeds up, and his kiss turns hard, devouring, making my body throb in response.
“Bedroom.Now.”His words are more of a growl as he tears his mouth away and rises to his feet, dragging me up off my seat.Before I can say anything, he wraps his fingers around my wrist and marches me toward the back of the plane.I give mental thanks that Dr.Goldberg is sound asleep and Isabella went back to the front of the plane; nobody’s there to see Julian dragging me off to bed.
As we enter the small room, he kicks the door shut behind us and pulls me toward the bed.Even injured, he’s incredibly strong.His strength both arouses and intimidates me.Not because I’m afraid he’ll hurt me—I know he will, and I know I’ll enjoy it—but because I’ve seen what he can do.
I’ve seen him kill a man with nothing more than a leg of a chair.
The memory should disgust me, but somehow it’s exciting as well as scary.Then again, Julian is not the only one who’s taken a life this week.
We’re both killers now.
