“Is this really how you want to act when you’re about to be married?” Shetsks, brushing her hand down her dress. “I expect more from you, darling. You can’t act like this in front of the Irish.”
Is that really all she cares about? As surprising as it is, I’m not too shocked.
“You’re right,” I reply, ignoring how Falco’s eyes dart to me. “I think I need to take a walk.”
As I step away, Momtsksagain and her fingers snap. “Well go with her! Isn’t it what we pay you for?”
How Falco maintains his composure under such treatment is beyond me. But with her orders to follow, it no longer feels risky to take his arm as we head out into the garden. We walk in silence until we’re deep among the bushes and trees, looping around to the clay statues at the end that look down over the smaller buildings housing other guards in the valley.
“Are you okay?” Falco asks with such sincerity that I nearly start crying again.
“I don’t know what happened,” I murmur. “I was fine and then suddenly I wasn’t. I felt sick, cold, and hot all at once. It waslike my skin was twisting tight around me and I blinked and saw blood and just…”
“It’s okay,” Falco soothes. “You don’t need to justify it. You’ve been through a lot, and triggers can crop up when you least expect it. It doesn’t always make sense either, but PTSD is complicated.”
“But she’s right,” I say as our path takes us down toward the garages. “It happened to you, not me.”
“Bullshit,” he replies instantly. “You were there. You dealt with more than even soldiers I served with ever had to deal with. Don’t downplay your trauma like that, Aerin. You won’t heal if you do.”
“Heal like you?” I point out with a smile. “Don’t think I don’t see you not sleeping, or training yourself to the point of exhaustion, or the way you flinch at loud noises.”
Falco glances at me, his brows knitting together and then he nods. “Okay, sure. Use me as a bad example.”
“So you admit it.”
“Admit what?”
“You have PTSD?”
Falco holds the door to the garage open, and I walk under his arm. “How did this become about me?”
“I’m great at deflection.”
“Apparently. Are you feeling okay?”
I nod slowly. “The walk helped. I just…there’s so much pressure. I feel like I can’t breathe around Mom. The wedding andeverything is somehow more terrifying than what happened. I don’t want to marry him. I don’t want to do anything but this…”
Hidden inside the garage, I slide my hand down Falco’s arm and take his hand. But just as I lean up to claim his lips in a soothing kiss, he places his other hand on my shoulder and stops me.
My heart plummets like a rock.
“We can’t,” he says in a low voice.
“What?” Suddenly, the urge to cry sweeps back up my throat and I swallow hard. “But you…you said you had feelings for me and now, what, you’ve seen me fall apart for a second and you’re not interested?”
Both of Falco’s hands suddenly tightly clutch my shoulders, and he glances around the empty garage then locks eyes with me. “No, Aerin. That’s not what I’m saying. We need to be careful, that’s all. Everything I said at the cabin? It’s true and unaffected by what you’re going through. I’m here for you. Always. I promised you. We just need to be carefu?—”
In a flash, he’s stepped away from me as the door behind us hauls open and Giacomo strides inside. “Aerin? Oh, there you are. I thought I saw you both come in here.”
I stare at my brother, stunned into silence as heat crashes through my body as if I’ve just been lit on fire.
We were almost caught. I love my brother, but there’s no telling what he’d do if he found out what Falco and I were up to. Giacomo’s the only one who’s ever been on my side, but I’ve seen the effort he makes to try and get back on Dad’s good side.
“Yeah, sorry. I wanted some air but then the outside felt too open,” I explain hastily.
“Mom told me what happened.” Giacomo walks closer with a deep, concerned frown. “I’m so sorry, squirt. I can’t believe something as horrific as that happened.”
The tears well in the corner of my eyes. “It’s fine.”
