But they can also be devastated if… or in this case, when that love and trust are betrayed.
“I’m going to make some snacks,” I say, rising from the couch, needing space to breathe, to think. In the kitchen, I press my palms against the countertop and close my eyes, as if that will steady me.
What am I doing?
Am I giving Enzo something precious or setting him up for heartbreak?
Am I finally doing right by my son or making the same mistake twice by letting Luca in?
The sound of their laughter filters through from the living room.
“No, Daddy, it doesn’t go like that.”
I want this for Enzo. I want him to know his father.
I want him to have what I can’t give alone.
But I also know how this could end. Luca's promises might be sincere today, but tomorrow could bring another ambush, another accusation from Alessandro, another reason he has to leave.
The Dante world is built on unsteady ground, even as I’ve tried to build a solid foundation for Enzo.
I pull out a box of crackers and get the bar of cheese from the refrigerator. As I assemble a plate, I feel torn.
Maybe I shouldn’t have allowed this.
Of course, it doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done.
Whatever is going to happen will happen.
The best I can hope for is that Luca and I find a way to co-parent.
But deep down, there’s dread. Dread that both Enzo and I will end up alone again.
11
LUCA
I’m not going to lie. Meeting Enzo scared the shit out of me.
I have no experience with kids.
What if I fuck it up?
What if he doesn’t like me?
But sitting on the floor playing cars with the child I helped create is one of the most profound experiences of my life.
I never thought about being a father.
At least not since I was ordered away.
“How come you had to be gone?” Enzo’s voice holds curiosity more than accusation. “Did you have to go to jail?”
I choke back a laugh. "No. Not jail. I had to leave New York."
"Because you did something bad?"
Smart kid. It appears he has some sense that the Dante and Petrov families live in the gray areas of the law.
