Content.
Instead, my mind whirs with conflict even as my body hums with pleasure.
Damn him for making me feel this way. Damn me for letting him.
I’d been doing so well keeping him at a distance as time runs out for us. But guilt had me second-guessing what I needed to do.
It’s not fair to keep secrets from Luca when it’s his life on the line.
Then again, I have no doubt he’d give his own for Enzo, which is likely what’s going to happen.
Unable to face Luca, I woke Enzo to get ready for school and then retreated to the bedroom and wept uncontrollably.
I couldn’t pull it together to make Enzo breakfast.
I listened as Luca made Enzo pancakes and gushed over his school project.
My heart swelled with love even as it split in two.
When I finally pulled myself together to see Enzo off to school, my need for Luca overwhelmed my desire to push him away.
And now I’m here, naked in his arms, as confused and heartbroken as ever.
My body still tingles where his hands gripped me, where his mouth claimed me.
The memory of his touch sends another wave of heat through me, and I'm irritated by my own weakness.
How can I still want him when I know he'll leave again?
When I know what might be coming?
"What are you thinking?" he murmurs, pressing his lips to my forehead.
That I might have to betray you to save our son.
"Nothing important," I lie, shifting to avoid looking into his face.
I love him. Despite everything, I love him, which makes this situation a real-life tragedy.
"You're doing it again," Luca says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Disappearing inside your head."
I force a smile. "Just tired."
His eyes narrow slightly. He doesn't believe me, but he doesn't push. Instead, he pulls me closer, his hand trailing lazily up and down my spine.
My skin comes alive under his touch, craving more even as my mind screams warnings.
This is the chaos he creates in me.
Desire and fear, love and resentment, need and caution all tangled together, driving me mad.
I’ve lost the war to protect my heart.
Even after we rise from bed and dress after having sex in the shower, even after we spend the day apart at our own jobs, even after playing with our son, we end up back here in bed, our bodies wrapped up in each other.
As Enzo sleeps, Luca worships my body with hands and mouth. I come from both before he even enters me.
The pleasure feels more than sexual.
