“No, it’s not the bus.” He plops down on the bed with a sigh, clearly not reading the room at all. “It’s you two. I couldn’t sleep last night at the thought of losing either one of you, so call me selfish all you need. All this shit needs to be aired out now or we’re not leaving this city.”
An almost giddy smile crosses my face, because for once in my life — maybe the only time ever — I used my words before someone else had to tell me to. I’m tempted to help him out by admitting that we already talked, but I give Levi a look and turn back to Bash. “What do you mean?”
“What do I mean?” He jumps to his feet and starts pacing, Levi taking the spot he vacated so he can slot our fingers together and watch the show. “That!” He points at our hands. “That’s real. It’s not somethinghomiesdo. Yeah, maybe they blow each other sometimes, but not whenthatis also something they do. I’m tired of tiptoeing around and pretending I don’t know how you both feel about each other.”
He seems to see we’re both smiling and it only makes his frown grow, but Levi isn’t done having fun. “Bash, you promised you’d keep your shit together.”
“And I have!”
He looks so stressed I almost feel bad, but I pout playfully anyway. “Don’t do this to me, Bash. You promised.”
“I promised that when you were both admiring from afar, that isn’t the case anymore.” He aggressively points at our fingers again. “Sorry. Hate me later. Levi, Sid is in love with your stupid face, and seeing you walk around like nothing matters is quite literally killing him slowly. Oh, and his relationship with Leo was fake as fuck. They didn’t even kiss, and he moaned your damn name when he came. Sidney, Levi is only a pile of garbage because he’s also in love with you, and he doesn’t know that deep down he’s always been worthy of you. He hasn’t fucked anything or anyone but that sex doll he had delivered tomyfucking house — Alaina was thrilled by the way. I’ve told you so many times to stop having weird shit delivered to my house — I’m getting off topic. Back to you two... or I think I said it all? I don’t know, one of you is welcome to grow some balls and speak up at any point here. I meant it, we’re not leaving this city.”
He releases a breath and sits down on the floor with his arms crossed to prove his point further, but now it’s not that funny anymore.
I never told Levi that I moaned his name with Leo. “We already talked,” I say quickly, hoping Levi brushes past it. “We were talking when you came in, actually. I tried to sneak out, he caught me, we talked. Thank you, though. It’s really sweet that you care this much about us.”
“You talked?” His shoulders slump before he runs a frustrated hand through his messy hair. “And that talk went good?”
“Went great, actually. Turns out Sid likes that I’m a pile of garbage, so yeah. Very sweet of you to lay all our secrets out at six am. It’s a good thing I’m trying not to do drugs every time I’m inconvenienced, right? Glad that’s immediately getting tested.”
Bash flinches slightly and seems to realize how hard he went in on us, because he apologizes. “My bad. I didn’t—”
“Sleep? We got that. Did Alaina tell you not to come?”
He nods.
“Looks like we both got someone smarter than us to love us, huh?”
Bash chuckles as he gets to his feet. “Uh, yeah. You’re right about that. So... you guys didn’t need me? This is really happening?”
“We needed you,” I say gently. “Maybe not for this part, but for all the rest of it? Yeah. We needed you. So thank you, for every time you sat up listening to us, for every secret you kept until today, for every kind word and every supportive hug. I don’t know that I’d have made it to this point without you.”
“Yeah, what he said,” Levi agrees. “You were always exactly what I needed whether I needed you to just jam out with me or tell me I’m an asshole, you were the only one I knew I could go to. So thank you, and go get some damn sleep.”
Bash walks over to bear hug us both, then rushes out without a look back. Levi chuckles softly. “He seem kinda manic to you, or is that just me?”
“It’s just Bash. He doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he’s behaving,” I laugh. “He’ll be okay.”
“Yeah, okay. Can we talk about something he said though?” Levi drops his gaze to our hands and tightens his grip, and my stomach drops.
Here we go. I have to derail this shit before he gets it out. “You mean like how he told me a while ago that you bought me a bunch of Christmas presents you never gave me? Like that? Can we talk about that?”
“No — wait, he told you that? I thought he kept our secrets?”
“In his defense, I don’t think he meant to tell me,” I admit. “But is it true? Did you?”
Blushing slightly, he nods. “Yeah. Do you remember when you said how cute those mini vinyls were? I got you a fuck ton of those a couple years back. Other years it was clothes I saw you looking at and knew you’d look good in, but would never get yourself. I can’t remember most of it, but it’s all at my house still. Last year though...” He pauses and frowns at his hands. “Last year I got you a new violin. You mentioned how old yours was when Bash tried to get you to play at Friendsgiving, so I got you a new one. I couldn’t give it to you though, I swear every time you play it makes me cry.”
It makes me cry too, which is why I hardly do it anymore. “Oh.” My stomach twists and butterflies scatter, because the mess of a man before me really has loved me for years. This isn’t just some new obsession he picked up when he thought he couldn’t have me. Levi Cross doesn’t buy presents foranyone.
The least I can do is be honest with him in return. “Thank you, Lee. Really. It means a lot to me that you thought of me like that, so fine. What part did you want to talk about?”
Green eyes lock with mine. “You know which part. Did you really moan my name when you came?”
Ahh fuck. This was going so well until now. I have to remind myself to nutcheck Bash later.
“Uhm... yeah. I did,” I admit. “Leo asked me if it was okay if he fucked other people and I said yes but only if it was okay if I was picturing someone else. It was fucked up and I know that and now that I’m saying it out loud it’s also really creepy so feel free to shut me up at any time before I make it worse.”
