Chapter One:
Limerence
Sidney
“If you tell Levi this is fake, I’ll tell Alaina you steal her dirty underwear and hide them in the studio.”
Bash’s eyes widen as he glances around us to make sure no one heard. “That’s low, Sid. I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine. Otherwise, Levi is going to know all about how your new boytoy lets you moan his name instead.”
Oh, that’s... exactly what I should’ve expected from the rock god I’m employed to handle. He’s my best friend in the world and simultaneously my greatest enemy, because he knows every deep, dark secret I have, and he’s not afraid to weaponize them. He’s also bandmates with the trainwreck of a man I fell in love with five years ago. “I think I’m the boytoy in this situation, but I take your point. Mutual destruction.”
Bash grins before agreeing, “Mutual destruction. You know Levi is going to make a scene when you bring him tonight, right?”
Shrugging, I try to hide how much I hope that’s true. “Drummers are always dramatic,” I say flippantly. “But he’s the one who decided Leo was my boyfriend, I simply didn’t correct him. If he wanted me for himself, he had plenty of chances.”
He has no argument or defense for Levi and it shows. “Is it too late for him now? Or will your heart always leave a key under the mat for him?”
“I’d throw Leo into a burning building for one night with Levi,” I admit, hating myself a little for saying it. Leo and I agreed we’re not exclusive, but I’m not built for this. I can’t handle knowing he’s out there with other guys when all I want is someone to give all of me to. It was the most one-sided mutual decision I’ve ever been a part of, but with Bash now happily in love and Levi still preferring to sleep with groupies, I needed something or someone to fill my time. So here we are. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him.”
Rubbing his chest dramatically, Bash shakes his head. “That hurts. Being in love is making me soft.”
I’m happy for him, I am. Alaina is the best thing that ever happened to Sebastian Kincaid, and she’s made my job as his handler about a thousand times easier. In fact, it’s been brought to my attention by Yasmin, Hollow Apparition’s lead guitarist and most lethal shit-talker, that I’m really no longer needed at all.
I just hope no one tells Bash that.
“It’s fine. I’m fine,” I assure him. “Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t help it. You’ve worried about me for years, I’m allowed to return the favor. It’s honestly crazy to me that you two never once caved, though. You’re both stronger than me. The second I see Alaina, I need to be inside of her. That shit hasn’t faded.”
It’s Levi who refuses to cave. I’d be in his bed right now if he’d let me, but he won’t. He doesn’t see me like that. “How much time do I have before they come over?”
Checking his phone, he responds to a message with a stupid smile on his face that tells me exactly who is texting him. When Alaina calls, we all have to wait. “What’d you ask me again?”
“Nothing,” I mumble. “How’s your girl?”
“She told me to leave her alone so she could drive, so that means she misses me.”
My phone buzzes before I respond, and I find a message from Leo asking for the address again.
Like he hasn’t been here half a dozen times.
I send it to him, hesitating with my fingers hovering over the keys as I contemplate telling him Levi will be here. I usually need it a little rougher on nights I have to see him, but I’m already asking a lot of Leo. I think I should let this one go.
“We have everything we need, right?”
“Yup. Are you sure about this? You look... Well, I guess you look like you usually do when Levi is in the vicinity.”
Sighing, I nod. “How many people are coming? Or in simpler terms, will he be fucking one person, two, or the whole house tonight?”
“Well, I told him no plus ones, so... just my girl, the usual band and crew and yournotboyfriend. I thought it’d be more fun that way.”
“More fun that way?” I sputter. “Alaina is a given because she lives here too, so how do you think Levi is going to react when he’s not allowed a plus one and I am?”
“I — uh... didn’t think?” That much is obvious. “I told him unless he’s getting serious about someone don’t bring that shit here. This actually plays out better to convince him you and Leo are a real couple, right?”
I might be twenty-nine, but I may as well be back in high school for all the games I’m playing. Calling Leo Levi, telling Levi I’m serious with Leo even though Leo is probably fucking someone else right now, taking care of Levi while we’re on tour just as an excuse to be close to him.
I’ve seen more maturity in old cheese, yet I can’t seem to snap myself out of it. “It’s fine. I’m fine,” I repeat. “This is fine.”
