I fumbled for the doorknob and managed to turn it. Luckily, Vaughn managed to catch my weight before we both stumbled through it. He kicked the door shut behind him and then he was carrying me to the bed. I felt a moment of fear when his weight came down on top of me when we hit the mattress, but then he rolled us so he was the one on his back. I put my hands on his shoulders and urged him to stay where he was as I broke the kiss. “I want to try it the other way,” I said. “Can we do that, but if I get scared—”
“Anything, Aleks,” Vaughn said as he sat up, taking me with him. His feet were still on the floor so I ended up straddling his lap, my knees on each side of his hips. “Can I take this off?” he asked as he tugged at my shirt.
Itwasactuallymyshirt, since I’d taken to only wearing his at night while I slept.
I nodded and lifted my arms. I forced some oxygen into my lungs and reminded myself he’d seen me naked many times. He’d touched me while I was naked many times. The only difference was that he would be doing it while he was aroused.
God help me, but in my mind, that was a pretty big difference.
But this was Vaughn.
My Vaughn.
MyJames.
Vaughn’s big hands lifted my shirt as he slid his rough palms up my sides. I shivered at how good it felt. His eyes held mine as he worked the shirt off over my head. Once it was gone, he just held there, studying me, his eyes open and soft.
The way he was looking at me made me feel like the most beautiful, most cherished thing ever.
But not a possession.
Never that.
I put my hands on his face and relished in the softness of his beard. I kissed him, but he kept it quick and simple. I was expecting him to shift us so I was beneath him, so I wasn’t prepared for him to dip his head.
And close his mouth around my nipple.
Air rushed out of me as electricity fired through my entire body.
“Oh, God,” I whispered as he sucked on me, then licked over the sensitive flesh. His hands roamed over my back slowly, lingering on all the lines of raised flesh. We’d never talked about my scars, but he’d always touched them reverently in the shower… like he’d understood what I’d had to go through to survive them.
“James, please,” I whispered when he started teasing my other nipple. One hand slid down to my waist, then beneath the waistband of my jeans. I wanted to actually thank Con for buying me pants that were just a bit too big because it meant Vaughn could easily slide his fingers past the material. My underwear was another matter, though. It was too snug for him to easily get his hand beneath and he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to do so.
I, on the other hand,hadfelt his hand on my bare skin there several times and Iwasvery much in a hurry to feel it again.
I grabbed him by the ears to get him to release my nipple. He lifted his head and then my mouth was on his again. Our positions meant I was a little higher than him and I took complete advantage of that fact.
But it didn’t last.
I let out a little gasp when he lifted and moved me beneath him with next to no effort. My heart was in my throat when he pressed me into the mattress, but I managed to quell the immediate need to tell him to stop.
But he’d already stopped.
No, he hadn’t moved off me, but he wasn’t kissing me anymore.
“James,” I began, but he shook his head.
“I’m not going anywhere, Aleks. We’re just going to take as much time with this as you need. Remember, our pleasure is about both of us. And trust me, I won’t get even an ounce of pleasure out of any of this if you aren’t with me one hundred percent.”
I felt both relieved and foolish at the same time. I doubted there were any other men on the planet who had to work as hard as Vaughn did… and who were even half as understanding.
“Okay,” I said. I let my hands roam over his shoulders and down his back. “Will you take this off?” I asked as I tugged at his shirt.
He nodded and reached behind him with one hand to pull the shirt off over his head. He tossed it aside. I made a mental note to wear that one to sleep in tonight because it would smell like him.
It was silly, I knew, because he’d be right next to me and if all this worked out like it should, I’d want to be naked next to him all night, but I did have a weird fascination with his shirts. Maybe because it felt like he was a part of me when I was wearing his shirt.
Maybe that would change tonight.
