I caught myself the second the words were out.
Did we have a someday?
We hadn’t actually talked about that.
Even if I made it through this and got to go home, Vaughn wouldn’t be coming with me. He’d said as much when he’d admitted that he’d keep helping kids even after he got Gio out. He couldn’t live that kind of life and still be with me, could he?
Could I?
Could I spend every day for God only knew how long, worried about the day he wouldn’t come home to me?
I dropped my eyes and fought back the nausea threatening to ruin the delicious meal I’d just eaten. I waited for him to say something, anything that would confirm hewouldmeet my family, but he remained silent.
I began picking at my food again, though my appetite was gone.
“Can I ask where Gio’s mom is? You guys don’t mention her,” I asked, hoping to get past the awkward moment.
Mission definitelynotaccomplished because when I looked up at Vaughn, he looked stiff and tense.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“No,” he said as he put his hand on my thigh when I started to get up. “No, it’s just… it’s not something we talk about… ever.”
“How come?”
“She’s gone… she was killed when Gio was taken. She tried to stop the guys and they shot her… in the head.”
“Oh God, James, I’m sorry…”
He shook his head. “She and Luca weren’t in a relationship, but he really did love her and she was such an incredible mother to Gio. He pretty much lost his best friend and his son all in one day. He’s never really recovered from that… he kind of went off the rails for a while afterwards. Wouldn’t eat or sleep or even talk to anyone, really.”
“You guys said he went in on his own in the beginning to look for Gio.”
Vaughn nodded. “He didn’t tell any of us. Could’ve gotten himself killed. Luckily, he never told people who he really was and no one seemed to make the connection. He looked different back then, too… younger, less…”
He fell silent and this time I was the one to put my hand onhisleg.
Vaughn didn’t need to finish the description… I’d seen what that other world did to its victims, and even if Luca hadn’t suffered the same kind of pain, he’d suffered. The whole family had.
I pushed my plate away because my appetite was completely gone.
“You should finish,” Vaughn said gently.
“No, I just want to go to our room… with you.”
He seemed to understand my need to be with him in that way because he kissed me softly and then said, “Let’s go.”
We took our plates to the kitchen, which was empty, and left them in the sink. Vaughn held my hand as we made our way down the hallway to the room we were sharing. Once we reached the door, he turned to me as he was reaching for the knob. “Do you want to call Dante?” he asked.
I did, but my mind was somewhere else at the moment and Iwanted to go with the feeling before I chickened out. I shook my head and then pulled him down for a kiss. I let my tongue slide into his mouth before inviting him to take over the kiss. I’d become a self-proclaimed expert at kissing in the past week, and I knew what to do to get him to take control, at least of my mouth.
Vaughn groaned and leaned into me. His hands moved down my back to my behind. He pulled me against his erection and then he was leaning back against the door, taking me with him.
“We should go inside,” I said against his mouth. “I don’t want Con to offer me his grits while we’re getting naked.”
Vaughn stilled, but I wasn’t sure if it was the grits comment or the fact that I’d just changed the game on him by announcing we should get naked. When he moaned and then suddenly used his hands to lift me and spin me so my back hit the door, I knew it was the latter.
“Door,” he ground against my mouth between kisses. “Open the fucking door.”
