“I’m sorry, Everett.”
Everett shrugged. “It was what it was. If it’d just been the gay thing, I probably could’ve figured things out when I was older… broken ties with them or something.”
“What do you mean?”
“My life was planned out for me from the moment I took my first breath. My father was a coal miner and he swore his kid would do better than him. He’dbesomebody. I don’t think he necessarily thought I’d end up where I did, but political office was always in my future. I didn’t even dare question him. He picked what college I’d go to, what degree I’d pursue, what electives I’d take, what woman I’d marry and when. My only job was to execute the plan.”
“What happened if you didn’t?” I asked.
“Never found out. That belt was a pretty damn good motivator,” Everett murmured. “Even when I was old enough to hit back, I wouldn’t have dared. I didn’t exist outside of my father’s world. After college, it was grad school. Then an internship at the governor’s office. State Senate, U.S. Senate, V.P., Presidency… he won those, not me. He died shortly after I started my second term as vice president. My mother was gone by then, too. I could have put an end to it then and there, but it never even occurred to me to do anything different. I needed to execute the plan.”
Nash shifted against Everett and let out a little whimper. Everett dropped his hand from my hair and covered the hand Nash had pressed up against Everett’s chest. He rubbed Nash’s fingers until the other man settled and drifted off again. I watched as Everett shifted his body so he could pull his other arm from beneath his pillow. My heart swelled when he used that hand to cover Nash’s and then returned to toying with my hair.
“I didn’t even know how far gone I was until I met Pierce.” Everett shook his head. “The things he changed in me… but as much as he loved me and I him, I still couldn’t overcome my fear of disappointing my father. I always thought I’d have time, you know? To be the real me? But when I lost Pierce, I didn’t see the point.”
“Of coming out?” I asked.
“Of anything,” he said quietly. He was silent for a moment before saying, “I was proud of being given the honor of leading this country for so many years, but even if I’d never met Pierce, I think I would have been okay with being out of the spotlight for the rest of my life. People always ask why I don’t write a book or give motivational speeches…”
“Why don’t you?” I asked.
“Because it would just be perpetuating a lie, I guess. I was like one of those people who are content with their life… their cubicle job, comfortable marriage, focused on saving for retirement and taking a vacation once a year… it’s a perfectly acceptable life, one that most people would kill for. But to stand up in front of a group of college grads and tell them to shoot for the stars seemed hypocritical. Pierce and I had this grand plan of buying a house in the country somewhere, maybe having a couple of chickens, a dog or two… we’d have absolutely no obligations but to sit on our porch swing and watch the sunset. We were just going to wing the rest… I would have been so fucking good at executingthatplan.” Everett’s voice was thick with tears at that last part.
I leaned in to press my lips against his forehead and whispered, “It’s okay, baby.” He curled his hand around my wrist and held on tight for a moment as he tried to get control of himself. I kept up the gentle kisses and repeated the words over and over until he nodded. Knowing he was okay, I pulled back enough so I could see him.
“Will you tell me about Reese?” Everett asked.
I hadn’t expected the question, but despite the inherent danger in bringing Reese into the conversation, I said, “What do you want to know?”
“Everything. I haven’t seen him since his mother died. That was three years ago. But we weren’t exactly on speaking terms. The last time we actually talked was a month before he found out about me and Pierce. It’s like he went from an eager twenty-something soldier to an angry thirty-three-year-old that I don’t even recognize as my son overnight.”
“If it helps, I think he’s worried about you.”
Everett let out an ugly laugh. “I doubt that.”
“He asked me to make sure you were okay tonight. When he made that comment about you lying about having eaten a big lunch today, I don’t think he did it to embarrass you. I think he sees what the rest of us see.”
Everett was quiet for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll do better. Nash… he was pretty upset tonight before you got here. Said I needed to eat more and that maybe I should see a doctor about not being able to sleep.”
“Maybe you need to think about that,” I said.
“I will. I promise, Gage.”
I brushed my mouth over his. “Good,” I murmured. “Okay, so Reese... I can tell you what I know, but it isn’t much and it’s not exactly pretty.”
“I’ll take it,” Everett said.
“I guess you know about Ronan’s group, since he was the one who called you about Reese.”
Everett nodded. “Ronan and I met years ago. He and I lost touch after Ronan suffered his own loss. He called me about a year ago to tell me that someone had put a hit out on Reese. He didn’t know that Reese and I were estranged. Ronan explained to me about the group he’d started. I asked him to do whatever he needed to save my son, but not to tell Reese I knew about any of it. When it was all over, he told me that Reese wasn’t doing well – that he just seemed… broken. He wanted my permission to ask Reese to join his team. He explained what that meant – the kinds of cases Reese would work. As hard as it was to know that not only would he be in danger from the guys he was going after, but the law as well, I trusted Ronan to take care of my boy… to give him something I couldn’t.”
“Ronan was right. I don’t know what Reese was like when he was younger, but when I first met him, he was… I guess hard is a good way to describe him. It was like nothing got through the wall he’d built around himself. He just wanted to get in, do the job and get out. He wasn’t interested in getting to know me… hell, I don’t think he even wanted to partner with anyone. But some of the jobs we work require that extra set of eyes, you know? I think Ronan knew that my personality would mesh well with Reese’s, so that’s why he assigned us to work together so many times.”
“Makes sense,” Everett said. “You’re very…”
“I’m what?” I asked when he hesitated.
“Persistent… persuasive.”
