“I did,” I admitted. Was he upset that I’d gone behind his back? “I didn’t want to tell you and get your hopes up,” I offered in the hopes of mollifying him. “Did Director Hill… was that him giving you an update?” I asked.
“It was him offering me an assignment on the First Lady’s protection detail.”
“Wow, that’s incredible. I’m so happy for you?—”
“Why the fuck did you do it, Everett?” Nash yelled. “Just tell me why!”
I had no clue why he was so upset.
“I thought that was what you wanted,” I murmured. “You deserve it, Nash. You never should have been stuck babysitting me.”
Nash moved toward me, then stopped. He was once again by the back of the couch. He began lightly bumping his fisted hand on the back of it. I wasn’t exactly afraid of him, but I did back up just a little so I could lean against the doorframe leading to the kitchen. I wanted the extra support so I could deal with whatever came next.
Because I was completely clueless.
“You did it for me?” Nash asked. “Why?”
“I told you why, Nash?—”
“Why else? There has to be a reason. Did you just want to get rid of me?” he asked. “Is it because of what I did to Gage? Did I scare you?”
“What?” I asked as I straightened. “No! I talked to Director Hill after we left Montana. It was the night I told you I was going to decline Secret Service protection. I never wanted to get rid of you. In fact?—”
My words dropped off as soon as I realized what I’d been about to say.
“In fact, what?” Nash asked.
I shook my head, but that didn’t satisfy him, of course. He strode right up to me and I automatically took a step back, hitting the wall behind me again.
“In fact, what?” Nash asked, more gently this time.
“In fact, I didn’t want you to go,” I admitted. God, was I really doing this? “When I saw you waiting for me the next morning, I was glad. I wasn’t sure how you managed to talk Director Hill into meeting my demand that only one agent accompany me?—”
“I didn’t,” Nash whispered. He held my gaze for a moment before repeating the words. “I didn’t, Everett.”
“What do you mean?”
“I knew he wouldn’t have gone for it. Like any job, agents have to be given a certain amount of time off. There are occasional exceptions, but not for any length of time.”
Holy hell, I hadn’t even considered that. “Wait, so why did he agree to let you come?”
“He didn’t. He let your request go through, Everett. To decline Secret Service protection. Agent Simmons and I were ordered to leave your property and we’d receive new assignments. Agent Simmons left that night, but I didn’t. I called the director that morning and told him I needed to take a leave of absence for a family emergency. My request was granted.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, my head spinning. “Are you saying, all this time you’ve been with me, it hasn’t been in an official capacity? You haven’t gotten any kind of pay or support? Why?” I asked. This time it was my voice that kept getting louder. “Why in the world would you?—”
That was as far as I got before Nash’s mouth slammed down on mine. I was so surprised that I didn’t respond at first. But the secondhis sinful tongue slid into my mouth, all bets were off. I heard glass shattering and realized I’d dropped the empty wineglass in my hand so that I could wrap my arms around Nash’s broad back. His heavy body held mine against the wall as he consumed my mouth. His hands were on each side of my neck, holding me in place so he could do whatever he wanted to my mouth.
He was like a starving man and I was like a floundering one as I tried to keep up. Whereas Gage’s kiss had started off as a slow burn that had led to a raging inferno, Nash had skipped the preliminaries of stoking the fire altogether.
He took.
And he took.
And he took.
By the time he tore his mouth from mine, we were both panting. I wanted to remind myself that what we were doing was wrong, but I couldn’t find the words that would convince myself, let alone him.
I wanted this.
