We’d reached the door of the guest house, which Nash opened for me.
“Add in my and Elanor’s crumbling marriage and him discovering the truth about me while Elanor and I were still married, and his opinion of me was pretty much solidified.”
“What did he mean by you fucking his boss?”
“Pierce was his commanding officer in the military. Reese used to rave about how amazing Pierce was… the respect he had for him actually made me a little jealous,” I said with a laugh. “He made it sound like Pierce practically walked on water… he was right.”
“So he found out you and Pierce were together?”
“He walked in on us. So not only did he find me cheating on his mother with another man, but it was with the one man he admired above all others.”
“But surely he must have understood. After knowing what you and Pierce meant to one another?” Nash argued.
“He didn’t stick around long enough for me to try and explain it. Pierce tried to talk to him about it at some point, but Reese shut him out… threatened to tell the world about us if he didn’t leave him alone. I didn’t see Reese again until after his mother’s death. She and I had been divorced for a while by then. I suspect she didn’t exactly help my case, since she hated me just as much.”
“You need to try talking to him – explain things,” Nash said in frustration as he let the screen door slam behind him. He didn’t bother closing the front door as he followed me a few steps into the living room.
“It won’t undo anything, Nash,” I explained tiredly. “Even if he believes me about Pierce, it doesn’t change how fucked-up his childhood was. The reporters, the spotlight, the pressure… when it came tomy professional life, he was treated like nothing more than a prop. He didn’t fare any better in private. My wife constantly used him and the threat of divorce as a pawn to get what she wanted, and she often forced him into the spotlight to get the attention she craved.”
I sucked in a breath and said, “I didn’t do enough to protect Reese from that. Elanor and I had stopped loving each other long before I took office, and looking back, I realize we never loved each other. So Reese became a bargaining chip. If Elanor didn’t get something she thought was her due, she threatened to take Reese from me. As bad as the marriage was, I couldn’t lose my son. He was the only thing I ever did right.”
“That’s not true,” Nash responded. “I used to watch you on television and wish I could do something like that… change the world just by saying the right words or making the hard decisions that no one else had the guts to make. You’d get up in front of that podium day after day and ignore all the people who said you were fucking up and work to make things better for people.”
I smiled and shook my head. “You watched me, Nash? You were practically a baby.”
“Don’t!” Nash spit out.
His anger caught me off guard. We were standing near the back of the couch. When he began tapping his fingers on the plush fabric, I understood how agitated he was.
“Don’t what?” I asked gently.
“Don’t fucking bring up the age thing again,” he snapped. “That shit doesn’t matter.”
I wasn’t sure in what context it “didn’t matter,” but I decided to let the issue go and change the subject. I didn’t want to talk about Reese anymore, and I sure as shit didn’t want to say something that would upset Nash any further. But before I could say anything, Nash’s phone rang. He ignored it at first, though I could tell it bothered him to do so. When he finally grabbed it from his pocket, he did it reluctantly.
“It’s the director,” he murmured. “Sorry, I have to take this.”
I nodded. “Of course.”
He kept his eyes on me for another split second, then he turned on his heel and stormed out the front door, answering the call as he went.
Exhaustion settled over me and although it was still early, I knew I was done. I doubted I’d get any sleep tonight, but even just lying down and letting my tired body rest would help. I’d been killing myself with the Fortier gardens, as well as helping Charlie take care of some of the outside animals by cleaning pens and watering and feeding the animals, but I still wasn’t able to find any peace in sleep. I’d resorted to sitting in front of the television in the living room each night in the hopes the monotony of the voices would lure me into a restful slumber, but it usually wasn’t until the sun was breaking over the horizon that my eyes finally closed.
I went to the kitchen and rifled through the refrigerator for the bottle of wine Phillipe had brought me a few nights earlier. He’d taken to coming to visit me in the guest house each night the week Reese had arrived, since I’d been reluctant to spend any time in the main house for fear that I’d upset my son. Gage’s father and I got along swimmingly, and I enjoyed his need to take care of me. For someone of my age, it was a rare thing to be taken care of anymore. My parents had long since died, though it wasn’t like they would have started acting like actual parents so late in the game anyway. If my father had still been around, he’d have probably admonished me for falling so easily out of public life. But Phillipe had a weird way of doting on me, even though he was only fifteen or so years older than me. I suspected it was just the kind of person he was, and a part of me hoped that it was something that would rub off on Reese a bit. He was clearly crying out for the father he needed, and if I couldn’t fill those shoes, someone needed to.
I was in the process of pulling a wineglass from the cupboard when I heard the front screen door slam. I waited for Nash to appear, but when he didn’t, I went looking for him. I found him just feet from the door. He was raking his hand through his hair and there was enough light filtering in from the kitchen to see the tense expression on his face.
“Nash?” I said softly. “Everything okay?”
“Why?” he asked without looking at me. “Why would you do that?”
It was almost like he was talking to himself. But then he looked me square in the eye. “Everett, why?”
Worry went through me because I had no idea what he was talking about. Had I said or done something that had inadvertently hurt him? Upset him? Clearly I had, because he was more agitated than he’d been mere moments ago when he’d been trying to defend me against Reese’s behavior.
“Why what, Nash? I’m sorry, I don’t?—”
“You spoke to Director Hill. You told him to investigate the case with the VP’s daughter. You told him you thought I belonged in the West Wing.” His voice grew louder with every sentence.
