I’d told myself I wouldn’t do this, but I was powerless to keep the promise to myself. I didn’t see a man who’d once been one of the most powerful leaders in the entire world. I didn’t see a man who’d suffered a loss that had left its mark on him. And I didn’t see a man trying to figure out how to be the father his son needed him to be. All I saw was a gorgeous, generous, kindhearted, not-yet-completely-broken man who wanted what I did in that moment.
So I gave it to him.
I moved slow enough that Everett had the chance to stop me if he wanted. My hand was still on his thigh as I inched my mouth closer to his. He was frozen in place and I could hear him breathing hard. It was enough to have me reconsidering what I was about to do. What if he didn’t want this? What if I was reading him wrong?
“Everett—”
“Don’t stop,” Everett whispered, his voice shaky. “God, Gage, please don’t stop.”
Despite his plea, he didn’t move. My eyes held his for a moment and then I sealed my mouth over his.
The kiss was simple – just my mouth brushing his and nothing more.
But the impact was devastating.
In the best way.
I was sure that the sensations and emotions tearing through me all at once weren’t possible after such brief contact, so I kissed him again.
And again.
Every time was like a punch to the gut.
Everett didn’t kiss me back, but he didn’t pull away either, so I kept going, mainly because I was too selfish to give up what I was feeling just yet. Despite my intense desire to deepen the kiss, I was content to keep it light, especially since Everett was frozen in place. After a few more passes, I drew back and opened my mouth to tell him that it was okay if he wanted to stop. But before I could evensay anything, Everett lurched forward and covered my mouth with his. His hands came up to cradle my face.
He pulled back just a little and pressed his forehead against mine. “Please, Gage, don’t stop. I’m sorry, it’s just been so long and I don’t want to mess this up?—”
His insecurity destroyed me, so I kissed him to silence him and this time I didn’t keep it simple. Because the moment Everett gasped at the contact, I dipped my tongue into his mouth. He froze for all of two seconds, then his tongue was sliding over mine. The kiss turned carnal just like that and it soon became a battle to see who was in control.
I happily conceded defeat to Everett as he pushed into my arms and lifted his body enough so that he was just a little higher up on the couch than me. He held my face between his hands as he nipped and licked at my lips, teasing me over and over until he sank his tongue deep inside of my mouth. My hands moved of their own accord and slid over his ass. My goal was to get him to straddle my lap, but before I could tug him into position over me, Everett pulled back, gasping for breath. He pressed his forehead against mine while he tried to recover.
The longer he held there, the tenser his body got in my hold, and I eased my hands from his ass and slid them up his back, because I knew what was happening to him.
“Everett, don’t,” I began, but he shook his head.
“I can’t,” he whispered brokenly. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
And with that, he was pulling free of my hold and climbing to his feet. He was heading for the front door before I could stop him.
“Everett, wait, let me call Nash or walk you home!” I called as I stood.
But he either didn’t hear me or he ignored me. Either way, he was out the door before I could even process what I’d done to scare him off. I cursed myself and collapsed back on the couch. My lips were tingling and my dick felt like a fucking spike in my pants.
I sat there for a moment as I tried to catch my breath, but being still wasn’t working for me, so I snatched Everett’s wine glass and my bottle of beer off the coffee table and went to the kitchen. My planwas to clean up, then head outside to check on all the animals before I went to bed.
And likely end up taking care of the hard-on that I suspected wasn’t going to go away on its own anytime soon.
I rounded the corner of the hallway leading from the living room to the kitchen and came to a sudden stop when I saw Nash leaning against the wall. From his proximity to the living room, I knew he would have heard everything if he’d been standing there for longer than a few minutes, maybe even seen us.
I expected him to say something – to berate me for taking advantage of Everett or hurting him. But Nash just stood there, his back to the wall, his hands tucked behind his back. His head was pressed back too. He looked… pained.
I wasn’t sure what to say to him. I knew he was attracted to Everett, but for whatever reason, he refused to act on it. I should have been jealous about the fact that he wanted Everett as badly as I did, but since my need for the distant Nash was just as strong as it was for Everett, I was actually rooting for Nash to take that step and go after the man he wanted. I couldn’t explain why I wanted it because I knew that if it happened, it meant I’d be left out in the cold.
Yeah, it really was fucked up.
Nash turned his head to look at me and I realized his eyes weren’t pained – they held something more in them, something deeper.
Longing.
