He looked up at me at soon as I started speaking and that little spark of hope in his eyes was enough to keep me talking.
“Those guys who hadn’t been willing to come out of the closet? If I’d truly loved them, the decision to walk away from them would have been a hell of a lot harder. Impossible, even.”
My comment seemed to mollify Everett somewhat, but he was still more withdrawn than I would have liked.
“So what happened with Grace?” he finally asked.
“We talked about it a lot and for a long time and went back and forth on whether it was responsible to bring a child into a world when its parents would never be married or together in a meaningful way. But we realized that we’d be able to give our kid everything it needed and then some. Grace wasn’t asking me just to be a sperm donor and that wasn’t what I wanted, either. My father and I had just lost my mother, so I’d already been in the process of leaving the military so I could move back home to help him get through it. Grace moved back to the area and we began researching our options. She got pregnant after the first artificial insemination attempt. We made the decision that we needed to raise our child together and she readily agreed to move in with me and my dad. I built the house you’re staying in just for Grace so that she’d still have her own space. Everything was going as planned, until…”
I hadn’t expected to get choked up in the process of remembering my child’s mother, but that was exactly what happened. This time, it was Everett’s turn to play with our fingers, which were resting on the couch between us. But he didn’t rush me to continue, so I took my time getting myself under control.
“She started bleeding after the baby was delivered and they couldn’t stop it. The doctors had decided to do a C-section becauseGrace was at a higher risk for problems because of her age. But there was nothing that had them concerned – it was all just a precaution. Grace was awake through it all and we were talking and laughing nervously as she made me tell her what was happening during the procedure. Then we heard our child cry for the first time and we both started bawling. The doctor handed me our daughter and I took her up by Grace’s head so she could see and touch her. She cried and said how beautiful our little Charlie was and then her eyes just slipped closed and that was it.”
I shook my head. “All hell broke loose and all I could do was stand there holding onto this perfect little girl who’d changed my entire life in just a few seconds’ time. I’d never felt more helpless in my life.”
“I’m sorry, Gage,” Everett said softly.
“I’m figuring it out,” I murmured.
“Yes, you are. Charlie’s an amazing kid.”
I couldn’t help but bask in the pride that Everett’s declaration made me feel. Truth was, I’d been scared shitless to be a single father. Moving in with my own father had made a huge difference, but it had taken a while for us to fall into the comfortable routine we now had, since my dad had still been reeling from the loss of my mother at the time of Charlie’s birth.
Everett had gone quiet and he’d dropped his eyes to where his fingers were buried in Fat Cat’s fur. I knew he was thinking about his own relationship with Reese and while I wanted to ask him about it, I doubted he was ready to talk about it.
“It’s late,” Everett said. “I should go to bed so Nash can get some rest.”
“Maybe tomorrow night we can convince him to join us,” I said, though I knew that likely wouldn’t happen. While Everett had settled in and warmed up to my family pretty quickly, Nash was doing his best to keep his distance.
Not an easy task, considering his job.
The past few nights that Everett had spent having dinner with my family and then sitting with us afterward while we chatted or played a game, Nash had stayed outside to do his perimeter checks,despite repeated offers to have him at least wait inside if he didn’t want to sit with us. I wasn’t sure if it was me he was avoiding, or Everett. Admittedly, I’d pushed him too hard that first day when I’d been showing him around the house, but every time I’d approached him to try and apologize, he’d made excuses to escape me. I’d never seen anyone wrapped as tight as him, and I couldn’t help but wonder when he’d blow.
Everett let out a chuckle and said, “I think you have a better chance of getting Grumps here,” – Everett motioned to Zeus with his chin – “to move more than five feet at a time.”
I smiled at that. It was true. I had one of the laziest big-ass dogs in the world.
“Good night, Gage,” Everett said as he reached for Fat Cat. As soon as he tried to lift the chunky tabby, the animal latched onto Everett’s pants with its claws. Fortunately, he wasn’t digging into Everett’s skin because Everett just laughed and shook his head.
“Hang on,” I said as I scooted closer so I could carefully work the sharp claws free of the dress pants Everett was wearing. Although the man wore jeans while he was working in the garden, he tended to dress up a bit more for dinner.
Not that I was complaining.
The man looked damn good in them and I’d had to remind myself not to ogle his ass on more than one occasion.
It took just a few seconds to work Fat Cat’s nails free of the delicate material. The animal sent me an irritated look and then jumped off Everett’s lap and went to plop down against Zeus’s side. As I began to straighten, I looked up at Everett and felt my insides jolt when I saw him staring at me. His face was flushed and his lips were parted.
And I quickly realized why.
Because at some point after I’d gotten Fat Cat off, I’d rested my hand on his upper thigh. It was literally just inches from his damn groin.
I should have removed my hand and apologized – turned it into a joke or something.
But I couldn’t.
I didn’t want to.
Not with Everett looking at me like he was.
