And suffer she did.
“I’ve always wanted to go on a hot-air balloon ride,” Fi said, leaning in close to dab concealer under Vivian’s left eye. “It’s ridiculously romantic. Cindy said if a man ever took her up in one of those things, she’d be the first to propose. Which is hilarious if you knew my sister’s resistance to tradition.”
Vivian didn’t say anything.
To say something meant she had to think about Sienna’s date with Holly three days ago, and she’d done enough of that already. At the time of filming, she’d bravely watched some of the footage of Holly and Sienna in the hot-air balloon at sunset. The sky had been molten gold behind them while the savannah stretched endlessly below. She’d walked out on the part when Holly had leaned in and kissed Sienna with her mouth open like a savage.
“I had a feeling they were going to kiss,” Fi went on, her brush tickling dangerously close to Vivian’s lash line. “Since Brooke left, Holly and Sienna have all this chemistry. Cindy started a bet and even got some of the lodge’s staff members in on it. She thinks the top two will be Holly and Nisha. You want in?”
“No, I don’t want in,” Vivian snapped. She cleared her throat and switched up her crossed legs. This wasn’t the time nor the company for her to get emotional. That was something best done alone and with a locked door, and a goose in her hands. A bottle of Grey Goose, to be specific. Vivian had learned her lesson about leaving the door unlocked. Never again.
Fi wrinkled her nose but seemed too caught up in the drama she was spewing to care. “Fine,” she said, breezily. “More cash for us when we win. Sienna’s date with Nisha was fire yesterday. Who knew birdwatching could be so romantic?”
Vivian would’ve rolled her eyes if Fi wasn’t busy attacking her lashes with mascara. “It really isn’t,” she said dryly.
“Did you not see Sienna and Nisha yesterday?” Fi asked, stepping back to grab a different brush. “The way Nisha wrapped her arms around Sienna to show her how to hold the binoculars.”
“Sienna knows how to hold binoculars,” Vivian said a little too quickly. Or at least she assumed she did. A person didn’t travel all over the world and not know how to hold a pair of binoculars. But the fact was that it had looked that way when Nisha had spotted a bird somewhere up a tree and kept trying to get Sienna to see it, which was why she moved to stand behind Sienna. It wasn’t romantic. It was instructional. Except for the part where Nisha’s hand brushed Sienna’s hip. But Vivian chose not to dwell on the details.
Fi shrugged. “Anyway, I think it was awfully romantic. Like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks movie. Minus the obvious tragedy. I’m just surprised they never kissed. Who knows, they might tomorrow. I personally think Sienna’s going to pick her for the villa date now that Brooke and Marie have gone home.”
Vivian didn’t need to be reminded about the villa date. The infamous overnight escape was where things got intense. No one really knew exactly what happened inside since camera crews weren’t allowed. But the rumors alone were enough to paint a pretty vivid image.
“I know they never got to it in the last two seasons,” Fi said. “You know, given everything that happened. But I do know that Christy from season three had sex with Ellen during the villa date. They did an entire interview on it. I’m sure you’ve seen it.”
She had. And it was the last thing she wanted to think about. In fact, there was only so much more of this conversation Vivian could take. Her skin felt hot. The collar of her shirt stuck uncomfortably to the back of her neck. Fi’s perfume, a nauseating mix of vanilla and gardenia, clogged the air like smoke.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Vivian said, waving a hand in front of her face. “Out.”
Fi blinked. “What? I’m not—”
“Out,” Vivian repeated, standing up so abruptly from the chair that two makeup brushes toppled off the vanity. “I need some time alone please. To rehearse.” It felt necessary to give an explanation despite it being completely false. No. What she needed was to scream into her pillow, so she didn’t have to think about the villa date coming up.
Fi gave a little shrug and gathered her things. “You’re cranky today,” she said, sliding her makeup kit closed. “When was the last time you had sex? Maybe you need a date to let off some steam.” She waved a manicured hand vaguely in Vivian’s direction.
“Maybe you need boundaries,” Vivian muttered and ushered her toward the door.
Once Fi left, Vivian sank onto the edge of her bed and exhaled long and hard like she’d been holding her breath for an hour. She pressed her palm firmly to her chest and willed her heart to slow down. It didn’t. In fact, it sped up dangerously when she remembered she still had to host tonight’s stargazing date, and she had to do that while pretending she wasn’t dying a little inside.
Impossible. Especially when she had to watch Sienna lie beside Dani on a nest of blankets and cushions, their fingers interlaced as they gazed up at the far too bright and romantic Milky Way.
UGH!
Vivian couldn’t understand why she had to be there. But Elise insisted she deliver a line about love and the universe, which, to Vivian, felt less like a creative decision and more like a calculated act of cruelty.
At least she could catch Sienna’s eye, which was something she very much looked forward to considering they hadn’t seen each other all day. Not even a quick glance across the lodge’s main deck, or one of those featherlight touches they’d been sneaking in the last few days, or a hushed whisper whenever they passed each other on the raised wooden pathways.
A chime sounded from her phone on the bedside table. It was the first notification reminding her to get a move on. Vivian sighed and crossed the room to silence the alarm. Then she smoothed out her ivory silk blouse with its tiny pearl buttons, ran two fingers along the edges of her freshly painted lips—she’d gone for Rouge Dior 999—and slipped on her shoes.
By the time she reached the door, a sinking hole opened in her chest.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Two weeks before Sienna was supposed to step onto the show, she had spent two entire weekends binge-watching every season ofThe Sapphic Match. And not just the episodes but the behind-the-scenes footage, the cast interviews, and the unfiltered confessionals where contestants aired every juicy thought and petty grudge. Which meant she had a pretty good idea of what happened during the villa dates: hot tubs, candles, provocative card games which involved removing items of clothing and kissing. A lot of kissing. Sometimes even more than kissing, which made Sienna’s stomach twist just thinking about it.
When Holly had kissed her during the hot-air balloon date the other night, Sienna had done what was expected. She’d kissed her back. The kiss had been sweet, tentative, a little tongue, some teeth clinking. All in all, it was a lovely kiss. Except Sienna’s heart hadn’t been in it, because, obviously, Holly was not Vivian. And never would be, which was why tonight’s villa date was more daunting than ever. She didn’t think she could pretend her way out of this one.
If things were to escalate…
