Occasionally, Kash would kiss his temple and give him a little squeeze. He was the dad who didn’t judge, pry, or feel like if he said nothing then he wasn’t actively solving the problem. Kash was exactly who he needed. Maybe when his head cleared, he would feel guilty for not calling his real dad. He hoped his dad wasn’t hurt that Valon called Kash. It was just that everything hurt too fucking badly, and if a single person gave a shred of sympathy or advice, Valon would fall apart.
A noise in the doorway snagged his attention. His gaze turned away from his inward stare. Marc stood in the foyer, shifting from foot to foot. He looked so adorably unsure.
Kash kissed his temple again. “I’m always a call or text away.”
Valon managed a sad smile. “I know.”
Kash stood. He nodded at Marc as he passed on his way to the door. Marc’s gaze never looked away from Valon to acknowledge Kash.
Valon didn’t react the second they were alone. It took him a minute to find his voice in the face of Marc’s open pain.
He cleared his throat, hoping he didn’t sound as much like he was drowning. “Is your plan to stand there all day?”
Marc didn’t move. “I’m waiting to see if you tell me to leave.”
“Then come sit down.”
Marc’s broken expression never budged. He chose a seat across the coffee table from Valon. Even when he sat, he didn’t relax. Marc looked ready to run again at any second.
“I’m not my dad.” Marc jutted out his chin, as if preparing for Valon not to believe.
“I have no fucking clue who your dad is.” Valon heard the barely contained pain in his voice.
Marc relaxed a tad, but not much. He didn’t look as if he believed Valon. “Everything I told you about my childhood and parents was true. I never lied. I grew up middle class, never going without but also not having the latest things. My life was completely normal. I was the typical teenager. We were a white-picket-fence family. Cookie-cutter as hell. Then one day my mom opened the door to what looked like an entire police station and half the FBI.”
“That sounds terrifying.” Valon didn’t know what else to say, but he needed Marc to know he listened. He had to do something. Otherwise, they would never get anywhere.
Marc nodded. “We had no clue what was happening. I was seventeen. One second, I was a normal high school senior. The next thing I knew, I was in an interrogation room completely shut off from everyone I loved. They kept tossing questions at me about things that didn’t make sense. I was sick with fear and confusion.”
“That’s a terrible thing to do to a kid.” Even Valon heard the outrage in his voice.
A small smile passed over Marc’s lips before disappearing just as quickly. “I’m pretty sure they didn’t see me as a kid. But I felt like one, and it was a nightmare. They were showing me horrific pictures and screaming questions at me. Nothing made sense.”
Marc dropped his gaze to his clasped hands resting on his lap. His knuckles were white. “That’s the day I found out my dad is the Tower Highway killer.”
Valon covered his mouth. That was why Marc’s name sounded familiar. He had the same name as his dad. Marc had actually said his dad was a serial killer before he left, but Valon had been too upset to absorb every word.
Marc cocked his head to one side and studied Valon. “You really didn’t know.”
Valon shook his head even though he was seventy-five percent certain it hadn’t been a question.
A wry smile touched Marc’s lips. “You didn’t know, and you still asked if I killed Ry. Fair, I guess. My journal probably made me look pretty psycho.”
Valon needed to know everything. Apparently, he had been self-absorbed and never asked any real questions about Marc or his life. Now he couldn’t stop wondering why he had done that. “Are you?”
Marc’s hands rose and fell. He looked defeated. “I don’t know. Maybe. It’s entirely possible Dad passed some horrible genes down to me. I just…” His hands rose and fell again. “My mom killed herself after the trial. Everyone was gone from my life, and cops kept showing up at my door, year after year, questioning me about missing people. It was like everyone thought I followed in Dad’s footsteps. I had to drop out of college and move away. When Steel hired me and gave me the chance to keep moving, I found my first ounce of peace in years. Then your song ‘Broken People’ hit the charts, and I swear I could’ve written every word. You hit me right in the heart, giving me a voice when I didn’t have one. Then I don’t know. I went to every concert I could. It’s dumb, but you made me feel less alone. I’d watch you sing that song, and I knew. That song was your life too.” Marc’s expression shifted from desperate to hopeful. “Then the job to protect your dad on Kash’s days off came available. I didn’t even get a chance to request the position. Steel just gave it to me. It felt almost serendipitous—like we were meant to meet. Then we did, and I realized I had been right. You were broken just like me. Instantly, I knew I had to save you.” Marc’s eyes turned pleading. “I swear I never set out to be anything more than your friend. Trust me, I know exactly how bad this looks and how insane I sound. I would run from me in your shoes. In fact, after I kissed you, I debated whether I should just get in my truck and go. That’s how much I’ve never wanted you to think this was my plan all along. Nothing has been faked or contrived. But yeah, the closer I got to you, the more I wanted. But that’s because you’re fucking amazing, and not because of who you are. Please don’t hate me for connecting with a star who wrote my life into song. It’s you I fell in love with, and I’ve lived in fear every single day since that this exact thing would happen. I’ll do whatever you need, but please don’t look at me in fear the way you did earlier. The way you’re doing now.”
Something shook loose inside Valon while watching Marc beg. The clouds parted. He knew what roiled inside him. “I’m not scared. That’s not what you’re seeing. I’m fucking furious.” In his rage, Valon came to his feet and paced. “You just walked out. I was shocked by what I found and even more surprised and confused when you got angry with me for it.” His pacing became an even more furious motion. He smacked the back of his hand against his other palm as he made his points. “The person who’d just agreed to marry me walked out. No trying to talk it out.” He smacked his palm again. “No waiting to let me think for a second. Just gone.” Valon faced Marc so he could see his rage. “We were supposed to get married. How am I supposed to feel now? Did you just show me how little that word means to you? I believe marriages are forever. You agreed to forever and then just fucking left me.” Valon had been so beaten down throughout his life, he had lived in fear of showing this much anger. The fire left him. Sadness replaced the fury. “You’re the love I spent my entire life begging for. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I need someone who is infatuated with me for once? Not someone who wants someone else or can’t take being around when the chips are down. Maybe I crave that all-consuming passion. I believed with my entire soul that you would never hurt me, and you did. You made me trust you above everyone else, and then you just took a sledgehammer to that foundation. You were supposed to be different.” The anguish in his voice couldn’t be missed. Valon had genuinely believed Marc loved him, and then Marc took his affection away. He didn’t know how to face that.
Marc visibly swallowed. His arresting eyes never wavered from Valon’s face. “Why are you talking in past tense?”
Valon’s hands rose and fell. A hysterical-sounding laugh escaped him. “You tell me. You’re the one who quit us.”
In an instant, Marc was on his feet and across the room so fast, Valon didn’t have time to run. He was in Marc’s arms, and the hottest kiss possible stole his breath.
Marc pulled away and rested his forehead on Valon’s. Their faces were inches apart. Marc’s eyes somehow looked even more beautiful up close. “I’m sorry. In every way possible, I’m ashamed as hell of myself. You’re right. I should’ve stayed. There’s no excuse. It was like some sort of fucked-up PTSD response, and you didn’t deserve that. Please forgive me. I swear it’ll never happen again.” The sadness and desperation couldn’t be missed in Marc’s voice. “When I left here, I had no destination in mind. I didn’t even get that far. My mind just undermined me, but as soon as even a hair of the fog cleared, I knew I had fucked up. I remembered there was no way in hell I could live without you. Please believe in me again. Please believe in us.”
Valon stared at the other half of his soul. Marc was right to connect so fiercely with that song. It was about people like them. He was convinced they had been meant to find each other.
