Ledger shook his phone at him. “You shared your location with me a while back in case I got worried about Valon. You never withdrew permission on the app, so…” Ledger shrugged.
“I remember.” Holy fucking shit. Was that his voice? He sounded like he had been screaming at the top of his lungs for hours. In a way, he had been. He just hadn’t made a sound.
“Kash is with Valon, since you left him unguarded.”
“What are you doing here?” Marc had to look around to find out where here was. “Getting coffee?” It was Valon’s favoritecoffeehouse. How sad for this to be where autopilot had taken him.
“No, I’m here for you.”
Marc didn’t bother saying anything. If Ledger wanted to tear into him for stalking the man’s son to the point of insanity, well, he was owed that. Marc was too broken to care. Plus, Ledger’s eyes had been passed down to Valon. They were a perfect match, and Marc couldn’t look away.
Ledger eyed him as if searching for something. Probably a soul. Marc wasn’t so sure he had one of those. Finally, Ledger motioned toward the building. “I used to bring Valon here all the time. It was one of our secret trips. They weren’t really secret. I just loved taking Valon shopping, getting coffee before and lunch after. I wanted him to feel as special to me as he is. It was our thing.”
“I know.” Marc paused for a moment. “Valon told me. That’s not me stalking him.” He had to add on that part because, fuck. Marc knew how things looked. They looked exactly like they were.
Weirdly, Ledger smiled. “He really told you that? I thought he had forgotten.”
Marc had nothing left to lose. The least he could do was tell Ledger the truth so he could know what he had been fighting since Valon left home. “Of course he didn’t forget. Those were the only times when he felt happy and safe. Ry made him pay double for him taking you away from Ry for the day.”
Ledger stared at the building. He visibly swallowed. “I know. He told me.”
Marc’s issues took a backseat. He felt an odd kinship with Ledger. They both loved a man whom they couldn’t always reach. He wished he hadn’t said anything. Just as Valon had kept his secrets for decades so he wouldn’t hurt his dad, Marc didn’t want to hurt Ledger.
“You should hear him when he talks about you. Bad memories tend to sear deeper into our brains than good times, but Valon still talks about a lot of good times with you. I’m sure you blame yourself, but don’t. That’s exactly why Valon never said anything. He couldn’t watch you hurt.”
Ledger wrung his hands in his lap, openly fighting against the ugly things he knew now. “I’m the reason Ry is dead.” He shot Marc a desperate look. “I never want Valon to know that. But after Valon told me what he had done, I couldn’t breathe knowing he was alive. So I waited until Kash left the house for the day. I knew exactly where Ry would be, and I stood on the other side of that busy road. He had been trying so hard to get me back. So I knew all I had to do was smile and give a little wave, and I was right.”
“Good. He deserved it.”
Ledger flashed him a sad sigh. “Please don’t tell Valon. He’s been through enough.”
A humorless grunt of laughter came from Marc’s throat. “No problem. He’ll never speak to me again.”
“You’ll just have to make him, then.” Ledger was all smiles now. “The only way to get through to Valon is to not leave him a choice. At least that’s what’s always worked for Kash. Kash just tells him how it’s going to be, and Valon goes along with it. Kash thinks he only feels secure if someone else is in control while making Valon think he’s in charge. I’ve always thought you were damn good at that. Every time we made plans, you stated things in such a way that Valon thought he had picked the time and place to see us. Honestly, it’s a talent I wish you could bottle and sell.”
Marc felt like his heart was actively being crushed. “You don’t want me around Valon. Didn’t Kash tell you? I’m that guy who might start burying bodies in the backyard any day now.”
“Why would he think that?”
Fuck. Kash hadn’t told him. Of course he hadn’t. Kash wouldn’t want Ledger to worry. “My dad—”
Ledger immediately cut him off. “I’ve known all about that since the day we met. It’s possible that’s why you won Valon. Maybe something about you let him know you’d understand. You know what it’s like to be scarred by a parent. It’s probably nice knowing he’s not alone.”
“You’ve always known?” Marc didn’t mean to sound so accusatory, but damn. He had never let on he knew a thing about Marc.
Ledger’s hands rose and fell. “After Ry, it’s possible I’m a horrible judge of character. I don’t think I’m wrong about you, though. When you look at Valon, all I see is how deeply you love him. As a father, you can’t know how good that makes me feel, knowing my son has the love I’ve always wanted for him.” Ledger visibly swallowed again. “Please don’t walk away without trying. I don’t know what’ll happen to Valon without you. He needs you.”
Marc wasn’t sure what would happen to him if he tried and failed. Walking away, making a clean break without hearing Valon say he hated Marc, that felt like the safest decision for his barely existent sanity. But Marc’s lips wouldn’t shape the word no. “I’m coming back to haunt you if he kills me.”
A low rumble of laughter rolled from Ledger’s side of the truck. “Deal.”
Marc rubbed his forehead, wondering what the hell he had just agreed to do. Truth be told, he didn’t know if he was strong enough. He would find out nonetheless.
Chapter Twelve
Itseemedlikeitshould be odd that Valon called Kash first. Kash was the first thought he had the moment Marc walked out. But as he sat tucked beneath Kash’s arm, Valon realized something. He had always leaned on Kash as more of a second father. Kash had always been so damn solid and grown that Valon had seen a place of safety and comfort in him. He had always known, no matter how furious Kash might be with him at any given time, he could call Kash and he would be there.
Valon didn’t talk. Kash didn’t make him. They just sat together in silence, with Kash shoring him up. His mind raced in a dozen directions but refused to cling to a single topic. If he stopped and focused on any one thing, Valon would fall apart. Nothing held him together other than his shocked state.
