“There you go.” Marc’s hand moved from Valon’s hair to his back. He rubbed slow circles between Valon’s shoulder blades.
“Mhmm. That feels good. Do you think I should offer to pay for it? I have the money, and I don’t want anyone else to have to shoulder that burden. His sister didn’t come around for a reason, I’m sure.”
“If no one claims his body, the state will bury him.” Marc sounded like there was nothing he cared less about than Ry’s death. That was fair. Valon should feel the same. He was so confused.
Valon was awake now. He felt defeated. It seemed even Marc didn’t understand his mixed feelings. There was a sliver of him that hurt over this situation. The ridiculous child inside him, who had dreamed Ry might love him someday, wanted to cryabout Ry’s passing. But Valon couldn’t, and he felt like he was expected to feel nothing. For the most part, he did. But feeling like he had no one to talk to about the small child inside him was isolating. Valon tried harder to shut down his mind.
“If you want to plan the funeral, I’ll do it with you. Whatever you need right now, I’m here. I know you’re dealing with a lot of mixed-up emotions. No matter how much of a monster he was, ultimately, he was your dad. He’s gone. There’s nothing more he can do to harm you now. But if you need to do something to help close the book on him, I’ll be by your side every step.”
Goddamn it. Marc always said the right things. It was like he could read Valon’s mind. “I think I need to handle it.”
Marc ran his fingers through Valon’s hair again. “Okay. I’m with you.”
Wow, he really was and Valon could breathe again. One way or another, Valon had to keep Marc. His life was better because Marc existed. He was safe.
Warm water poured over his hands as Marc rinsed the plate he had just washed. There was a good chance Ledger had a cleaning crew. At the very least, he probably used the dishwasher. Marc enjoyed the mundane task. He felt useful in a situation that made him feel helpless.
Ry’s funeral had been… odd, to say the least. Marc couldn’t think of a better way to describe everything that had gone down. First, it turned out Ry had a will and had requested to be cremated. He had also left his gym to Ledger, which made Marc wonder if all the blackmail and stalking had really been about keeping some part of Ledger. Maybe Ry had always believed Ledger would be his again in the end. It was hard to feel like there had been a funeral service at all when there was nothing more than an urn with a picture beside it. It had been a generouslyyoung picture of him. That made it even harder to connect the situation to an actual death. Even if anything had felt real, the day was way more than Ry deserved. In the smallest of ways, Marc understood how Ry had ended up resenting Valon. To his core, Ry had been a narcissistic, cheating bastard. Nothing had mattered to him more than his ego. His desire to avoid child support had left him tied down. Ry had been more than willing to gnaw off Valon’s leg to be free, only to wish he had the life he destroyed back. The saddest part was, Marc imagined Ry had decided to have a child to stroke the same ego that led to his destruction. He just hadn’t possessed the foresight to see how much freedom he would lose. In some ways, Marc imagined his father had done the same. Except Marc’s dad had actually wanted the trophy that was Marc. Marc still didn’t know which fate was worse.
“You know you don’t have to wash dishes. Valon pays someone to clean.” Ledger chuckled. “That keeps me torn between aggravated and frugal. He’s paying for the service. It would be rude not to use it. On the other hand, it seems pretty pretentious.”
Marc turned a smile Ledger’s way. “As crazy as it may sound, I actually like doing dishes, especially at times like this. I don’t like standing by helpless to help. So at least it’s something.”
Ledger nodded and leaned back against the counter where Marc worked. He crossed his arms, looking thoughtful. “You know, when I first realized Valon and you were dating, I had some huge reservations. That’s nothing against you,” Ledger tacked on as if not wanting to insult Marc. “In fact, it’s kind of the opposite. He’s blossomed so much with you being his guard and friend.Once that relationship changed, I was scared as hell of what would happen to him if you two didn’t work out. We couldn’t reach him before you. How bad would he be without you? But the more time that passes and the more I see you two together, I’m not as scared of that outcome. You love him. In general, you’re just really good for him. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for you to have brought my real son back.” Ledger looked around. His expression darkened. “I fucking loathe the fact that he feels like he needs to do this. This entire day has been way more than Ry ever deserved.”
Marc nodded along, finishing his last dish. “Agreed, but I’m all for whatever it takes for him to leave Ry behind. I hate the moments when I watch the happiness drain from him. Every time, I know exactly what he’s thinking about. I want that to stop. He’s started counseling again. I told him I would go with him. Healing has to start somewhere. I’m glad he finally confided in you. You two love each other. I don’t want Valon to lose that connection.”
Ledger eyed him for a moment. “Well, damn. Maybe you’re the one I need to worry about. I have a feeling losing my son would wreck you.”
Before he could stop it from happening, since it really wasn’t the time, Marc chuckled. “I won’t be losing him.” Valon had exactly the same chance as an ice cube in hell of getting rid of him now.
Valon appeared behind him. His arms encircled Marc, and he kissed Marc’s nape. “Why am I not surprised to find you doing something completely unnecessary? You’re incapable of doing nothing.”
Ledger flashed him a smile and winked. He kissed Valon’s forehead. “Proud of you, kid.” He walked away, leaving them alone.
Marc turned and squeezed Valon as much as he could without hurting him. “I’m proud of you too. You did something today most people would never do. You’re a good person.” A hell of a lot better than he was. Marc might have donated his body to one of those body farms.
“Not really. I had a thought.”
“Whatever it is, I love it already.” Seeing Valon smile was worth any ridiculous statement.
Valon huffed. “You don’t know. Maybe you’ll hate it.”
That would never happen. “Go on.”
“My next tour starts in two weeks. Once we’re on the road, we won’t get a ton of alone time. How do you feel about taking the next week and a half or so and going somewhere? It can be super touristy or completely secluded. You can choose. I’ve been damn near everywhere.”
Like Marc would say no. “Since you’ve been everywhere, give me your top three favorites to choose from. I’m not well-traveled enough to pick a town from thin air.”
Valon looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he brightened. They were going wherever he said first. The place obviously made him happy. “Salem is a lot of fun. It’s beautiful and full of history. Ibiza is super cool. Or we could just do Disney World. I love that place.”
Okay, so the choice didn’t turn out to be as easy as he thought. “Well, I have no idea where Ibiza is, and I was ready to answer Salem until you got to the end. Now, I’m torn. I’ve never been to either place, but I know I secretly coveted Disney as a kid.”
Valon shrugged. “Let’s do both. We can check out Salem for a couple of days and then spend the rest of our vacation in the parks. You’ll love it there. You truly are in a bubble. This is great. I’m so excited.” He went up on his toes and kissed Marc. Marc practically felt the joy rolling off Valon in waves. He really hoped this wasn’t some odd coping mechanism. He was past ready for Valon to always feel this way. The quicker they got started, the better.
Chapter Ten
Despitehisexhaustionandhorrible sunburn, Marc hadn’t stopped floating on a cloud since the very first time Valon touched him. The pride in his chest grew bigger every time he watched Valon sing and dance. He was so high-energy and sexy. So fucking sexy. Words couldn’t express how humbling and amazing it was to know Valon loved him. Men and women all over the country had thrown themselves at Valon for the past six months. Valon always only looked for Marc in every crowd.
