“Yet you did.” Marc didn’t care if he dug into the wound he had just created. “But as I said, there’s no need to think about any of this ever again. I want the job you failed. He’s in good hands.”
Kash looked devastated.
The hair on the back of Marc’s neck tingled. The air in the room changed. Valon came into view, looking shell-shocked. He headed straight into Marc’s arms. Marc became the guy Valon needed. “I heard, baby. Are you okay?”
He felt Valon shrug. His voice muffled against Marc’s chest as he spoke. “I don’t know how I feel right now. Tell me how to feel? I don’t even know anymore. It’s too… I just…” Valon shrugged again. Ledger spoke to Kash in a quiet tone. Valon whispered, keeping his words for Marc’s ears. “I’m relieved as hell, and I don’t know where to go with that.”
Marc held him tighter and kissed the top of his head. “We’ll figure it out. I’m here.” His gaze met Kash’s over the top of Valon’s head as he made the claim. “I’ve always got you.”
Valon released a relieved-sounding breath against his chest. “Thank God.”
Marc didn’t revert to his old self. He wanted to be who Valon needed now. Marc understood there were mixed feelings. Even though this was for the best, Ry had been someone Valon had spent years desperately hoping would love him. There was always a strange line between love and hate when dealing with someone who should’ve meant something. When the shock passed, Ry’s death would be a huge weight lifted from Valon. Marc was here to love him through all the good and bad times. He would make sure Valon only had good times from here on out. Valon would see. Marc would make his life perfect. He had all the tools to do it, and he wasn’t scared to use them.
Chapter Nine
Somewherebetweenasleepandawake, Valon savored the sensation of Marc gently running his fingers through his hair. From the pillow on Marc’s lap, Valon accepted the peace he offered. He kept his breathing even. Valon had slept more since Marc began sleeping with him at night than he ever had before. It was probably wrong how much he adored the way Marc spoiled him. Valon needed to sit down and come up with a plan to make Marc feel as special as he made Valon feel. Today, he didn’t want to think about anything. Ry’s death was at the back of his mind, waiting to pounce. Every thought he had made him feel like a bad person and torn. There was a lot of guilt associated with how he felt about Ry being gone. Maybe his feelings were justified. But sometimes, Valon wondered if he was a cold person. It was a little scary how quickly he could slam the door on his heart. He was damn good at walking away and never looking back. Life had handed him the chance to finally do that with Ry. That was exactly what Valon planned to do.
“How is he?”
At the quiet question, Valon peeked his eyes open for half a second. Just long enough to know who spoke.
Marc kept stroking his hair. “He’s okay. Tell me what happened.”
A moment passed. He didn’t know if German checked to see if he was asleep or simply shrugged.
“He was jogging and ran right into traffic. I guess he didn’t check to see if it was safe to cross. A woman on her way to work couldn’t stop quickly enough to avoid him. She’s pretty shaken up. They don’t intend to charge her with anything, since Ry wasn’t at a crosswalk. She wasn’t at fault. They took her to the hospital, though. It seems she’s a huge mess over this.”
“I imagine so. That’s a lot to live with.”
Valon was confused. Why didn’t Marc know how Ry died? He had been in the kitchen with Kash for a while before Valon sought him out. Why was German the one getting that information for Marc? He had been glued to Valon’s side the entire day. When did he have time to ask German to find out for him? He could have just asked Valon. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to put that burden on Valon. Still, it just seemed odd.
“Since you don’t need me any longer, Steel plans to reassign me.”
Why would they suddenly not need German any longer?
“If you want to stay on here, I’m sure Valon would be fine with that.”
Valon heard the smile in German’s voice when he responded. “I appreciate that, but you know me. I don’t stay anywhere too long. Hopping from state to state keeps life interesting. I didn’t mind so much when it came to guarding Jathan. His busy game schedule kept us moving. I’m not built to stay in one place for too long.”
“Okay. I get it.” Marc sounded resigned if not a little unhappy. Valon had known the pair were friends, so he kind of got it. But Steel was right; they already had plenty of security on property. German wasn’t really needed here. He hadn’t understood why he had been sent in the first place. Not that it mattered. He didn’t run that shit.
“I should probably start packing. When Valon wakes up, be sure to let him know it was an honor.”
“I will.”
Silence followed. He drifted closer to sleep.
“How long do you plan to pretend you’re sleeping?”
Valon never opened his eyes. “I’m not pretending.” Even he heard how slurred his words were.
“Good. I love you. You need to rest.”
“Love you too.” His voice sounded far away, as if someone else spoke in the room. He kept drifting a few seconds at a time. Valon had no idea why he couldn’t commit to the nap. His mind got the best of him. “Who do you think will plan his funeral?”
“I don’t know. Does he have any living relatives?”
Valon really had to dig deep. He had disassociated for most of his childhood. A vague memory rose. “He has a sister in the Midwest somewhere. I don’t really know her. She never came around.”
