His gut twisted into a knot. He’d never felt so damn helpless in his life. He wished to hell it was as simple as telling her to be harder and for her not to let this destroy her, but he knew it was pointless because Ashley was one of the most tender-hearted people he knew and he was an ass to sit here and tell her to get over it.
She covered her face in her hands and he could see her throat working convulsively as she tried to keep her sobs silent. But they spilled out, harsh and brittle in the quiet.
He lifted his hand to touch her hair but left it in the air before finally pulling it back. She wouldn’t welcome comfort from him, of all people. If it were any other woman, she’d have already come after his nuts and he’d deserve everything she dished out and more.
“Ash, please don’t cry.”
She lifted her ravaged face and pushed angrily at her hair. “Don’t cry? What the hell else do you suggest I do? How could you do this? How could my father? Tell me, Devon, what was the price put on my future? What do you get out of the bargain?”
He stared at her in silence.
“Tell me, damn it! I think I deserve to know what my happiness was traded for.”
“Your father wanted me to marry you as part of the merger between Tricorp Investments and Copeland Hotels,” he bit out. “Happy now? Can you tell me what possible good it does for you to know that?”
“It doesn’t make me happy but I damn well want to know what I’ve gotten myself into, or rather what my father got me into. Did I ever even have a chance? Did you study up on all the ways to worm your way into my heart?”
“Christ, no. Look, it was all real. It’s not like I faked an attraction to you. It wasn’t exactly a hardship to pursue you. If I hadn’t wanted to marry you, no merger or deal would have persuaded me differently. I thought and still think that we’d make a solid marriage. I don’t see why love has to be the be-all and end-all in this equation. Mutual respect and friendship are far more important aspects of a relationship.”
“Maybe you can tell me how the hell I’m supposed to respect a man who doesn’t love me and who manipulated me into a marriage based on deception. Does everyone think I’m a brainless twit who should be pathetically grateful that a man sweeps into my life and offers to take care of me? I’ve got news for you and my family. I hadn’t married yet because it was my choice. I hadn’t had sex with a man yet because I had enough respect for myself that I wasn’t going to be pressured into something I wasn’t ready for. It’s not like I haven’t had men interested in me. I’m not pathetically needy nor was I going to waste away if I wasn’t married by the ripe old age of twenty-three. I was happy. I had a good life.”
“Ashley, listen to me.”
He leaned forward, caught her hands and stared until she quieted and returned his gaze.
“Right now you’re upset and you’re hurting. But don’t discount the possibility that we could enjoy a comfortable, lasting marriage. Don’t make a snap decision you may regret later. Take some time to think about it when you’ve calmed down. When you’re not so volatile, you’ll be able to look at the situation more objectively.”
“Oh screw off,” she snapped. “Could you be any more patronizing? ‘Don’t be so high-strung, Ashley. Don’t be so stupid and naive. Don’t expect ridiculous things like love and affection in a marriage. How perfectly absurd would that be?’”
“I don’t think we should have this conversation any longer,” he said tightly. “Not until you’ve had time to calm down and think about what you’re saying.” He stood abruptly and she looked hastily away but not before he saw the silver trail of her tears streaking down her cheeks.
He wanted more than anything to pull her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. He wanted to comfort her, hold her, soothe her fears and tell her it would be all right. But how could he when he was the sole reason she was devastated?
“I’m sorry, Ash,” he said hoarsely. “I know you don’t believe that, but I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know. I would have done anything at all to spare you this pain.”
“Please, just go away and leave me alone,” she choked out. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
He hesitated a moment and then sighed in resignation. “I’ll take the couch in the living area. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
It took every ounce of his willpower to turn around and walk out of the bedroom. His instincts screamed at him not to leave her alone. To take her in his arms and force the issue. Make her listen to him. To not relent until she agreed that their marriage could and would work if only they could set aside the emotional volatility that always seemed to accompany declarations of love.
He had only to point at his friends to know this was an inevitable truth. Their lives were emotional messes brought on by the letterL.
All that angst and suffering in the name of love. Rafe and Ryan had spent more time in abject misery and all because they’d been ripped to shreds by…love.
Devon grimaced and sank onto the couch in the dark living room. What a wedding night this had turned out to be. Maybe he’d always known that it was inevitable that she learn the truth. How could she not? But he’d hoped they’d have a lot more mileage behind them. Then she could see that their marriage wasn’t defined by love or emotion, volatility or vulnerability.
Friendship, companionship, trust, respect.
Those were all things he was on board with.
Love? Not so much. It was a messy, raw emotion he had no desire to embroil himself with.
CHAPTER TEN
Ashley sat on the private veranda and stared over the ocean as the sun began its hesitant rise. She felt empty. Rung out. She felt stupid and so horribly naive that she cringed. It still baffled her that a life she’d thought was so perfect just hours before was a complete facade.
All night she’d sat huddled in an uncomfortable chair trying to come to grips with the fact that she’d been lied to at every turn. She’d been used and manipulated, not just by Devon, but by her own father. And all over a business deal.
