“This is precisely why you’re your own worst enemy at times, Ash. You’re too impulsive. You don’t think before you act. You just go around wading into situations and you end up getting hurt. If it enters your mind, you simply do it. That quickly. At some point you have to learn some control.”
She gaped at him, openmouthed, as his frustrated, angry words bit into her. How was she the bad guy here? What the hell had she done? This wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t entered this marriage under false pretenses. Devon knew precisely where she stood. God knew she’d told him enough times.
His eyes flashed and he turned his back. He walked across the room to the dresser and slapped the laptop down on it. For a long moment, he stood there, not facing her, silent. Tension rose sharp and so thick it was uncomfortable. Fear struck a deep chord within her because she realized that she was about to learn something truly terrible about her life. Her fate. Her marriage.
“Devon?” she whispered.
She thought back on their relationship. The whirlwind courtship. Suddenly the blinders were off and she began to analyze every date. Everything he’d said to her. How much of it had been a lie? Was any of it true?
She didn’t want to ask. She wasn’t sure she could bear to know the answer to her most burning question, but she also realized she had no choice.
He turned around and his eyes were shuttered. His expression was impassive almost as if he hoped to quell any further discussion.
Suddenly the circumstances of her marriage didn’t matter to her. There was only one thing she absolutely had to know. The most important thing. The one thing that would determine her future. And whether she had one with him.
“Just answer me one question,” she said faintly. “Do you love me?”
CHAPTER NINE
Dread had a two-fisted grip around Devon’s throat. He stared at Ashley’s pale, stricken face and he knew his time had come. Maybe he’d always known that this moment would come. He’d never really believed that it was possible to prevent Ashley from finding out the truth and furthermore it was stupid to try to keep it from her.
Damn fool of an old man. William Copeland didn’t want his precious daughter hurt and yet he’d set her up for the biggest fall of her life. Nice. And now Devon was going to look like the biggest bastard of all time.
“I care for you a great deal,” he said evenly.
Anger and fear warred with one another in her eyes. His answer sounded lame even to his own ears but he couldn’t bring himself to destroy her even further. Hadn’t she endured enough already?
“Let’s have the truth,” she demanded. “Don’t patronize me or pat me on the head while whispering pretty words to pacify me. It’s a very simple question, Devon. Do you love me?”
His nostrils flared. “The truth isn’t always a pretty thing, Ash. The truth isn’t always pleasant to hear. Be careful when you ask for the truth because it can hurt far more than not knowing.”
If possible she went even paler. Her eyes were stricken and all the light vanished from their depths as if someone had extinguished a flame. For a moment he thought she’d let it go, but then she squared her shoulders and said in a low, dead voice, “The truth, Dev. I want the truth. I need to hear it.”
He bit out another curse and thrust his hand into his hair. “All right, Ashley, no, I don’t love you. I care about you a great deal. I like and respect you. But if you want to know if I love you, then no.”
She made a broken sound of pain that was like a knife right through his chest. Why couldn’t he have just lied to her? Because she would have known the truth whether he admitted it or not and she’d already been deceived enough.
And maybe now they could finally go forward with complete and utter honesty and he could stop feeling like the worst sort of bastard at every turn.
She started to step backward, but she swayed precariously and flailed out one arm to catch herself on the mantel. He bolted forward, caught her shoulders and then guided her to the bed, forcing her down into a sitting position.
He took one step back and then heaved out a breath. Before he could launch into what he wanted to say, she found his gaze and he flinched at the raw vulnerability reflected in those eyes.
“What a fool I’ve made of myself,” she whispered. “How stupid and naive. How you must have laughed.”
“Damn it, Ash, I’ve never laughed at you. Never!”
“I loved you,” she said painfully. “Thought you loved me. Thought we were getting married because you wanted me, not my father’s business or whatever it was he offered you. How much did I cost you, Dev? Or should I ask how much my father offered you to marry me?”
Furious at the senseless direction this was heading, he yanked the chair out from the desk, turned it around and sat so he faced her.
“Listen to me. There’s no reason we can’t have an enjoyable marriage. We’re compatible. We get along well together. We’re good in bed. Those are three things many married couples don’t have going for them.”
She closed her eyes.
“Look at me, Ash. This may be painful to hear but maybe it’s for the best if we get it all out in the open. You’re far too emotional. You wear your feelings and your heart on your sleeve and it’s only going to get you hurt. Maybe it’s time for you to grow up and face the fact that life isn’t a fairy tale. You’re too impulsive. You dash about with no caution and no sense of self-preservation. That’s only going to cause you further pain down the road.”
She shook her head in utter confusion. Her eyes were cloudy and it was clear she was battling tears. “How could I possibly ever hurt as much as I do now? How can you be so…so…coldand calm and so matter-of-fact as if this is nothing more than a business meeting where you’re discussing figures and projections and sales and a whole host of other things I don’t understand?”
