She shifted again in her seat, trying desperately not to succumb to tears again. Her nose was going to be permanently red and swollen if she didn’t gain control over her wayward emotions. “He said he would never be party to driving a wedge between me and my family, that you and Mamma would never agree to the match, and that he wouldn’t force me to choose between you and him.”
A peculiar expression lighted her father’s face. “Yes, well, it seems a perfectly sensible explanation.”
She frowned at him.
“Sorry,” he said with an apologetic frown. “Listen, Jenna. I know this has been a trying time for you, and heaven knows I only compounded it by taking your mother on holiday to the continent. You obviously had need of us, and I failed you. For that I apologize.”
He paused a moment and stood up, moving around in front of the window. He turned back to her and continued in a regretful tone. “I now realize that the way I handled your betrothal to Stuart was not well done of me. I assumed, well, I hoped that you would be agreeable to such a match. I had confidence that Stuart was a solid young man with impeccable character. Indeed, I wasn’t proved wrong in the end. I was only securing a good future for you, or so I thought.”
He looked intently at her as if willing her to understand. “I will admit that the viscount approached me with the contract. I didn’t seek out an engagement, but it seemed a solid match between two families that had been friends for years. And,” he said dragging out the last syllable. “I owed him a debt. From years before. So when he came to me and suggested the marriage, I couldn’t very well refuse. Particularly when he hinted that he was no longer so plump in the pockets.” He broke off, gauging her reaction to his statement.
Jenna looked at him in shock. “So we weren’t betrothed as children?”
He shook his head, regret filling his face. “I told you that because I didn’t want you to think he was marrying you for your dowry. I hoped that your long-standing relationship with Stuart would carry over into an amicable marriage. I was wrong.”
She struggled to comprehend the magnitude of what her father was saying. He was admitting he was wrong. Unheard of! Arranged marriages were as ordinary as rain in England, yet her father was readily admitting he was wrong to have arranged hers to Stuart.
He continued before she could speak. “You are nearly one and twenty years old. Plenty old enough to make your own decisions. I won’t interfere, though it may pain me, but I trust your judgement. I won’t force you to marry someone you have no wish to be with.”
Her mouth dropped open. He was offering her independence? But at what price? Worry assailed her. Was he preparing to disown her?
He seemed to read her thoughts and let out a chuckle. “You are of course welcome to remain with your mother and me for as long as you want. Your dowry will remain intact. I’ve provided generously for you, and I don’t intend to change that.”
“Are you saying that I am free to marry whomever I wish?” The faint flickering of hope began to unfurl.
“I would hope that you would exercise sound judgement, but yes. I won’t stand in your way. I would also expect to be consulted. No eloping. No running away. And if you never choose to marry, I will support your decision though it may pain me to do so.”
Jenna looked closely at her father, his eyes sad and regretful. “I’m so ashamed.” She glanced away unable to meet his eyes any longer.
He cupped her chin and forced her to look back. “No matter what, you are the daughter of the Earl of Penbury. We are a proud lot, always have been. There is no reason to hang your head.”
She smiled, realizing that there would be no further discussion of her transgressions. The subject was officially closed. “I love you,” she said rising awkwardly to embrace him.
He caught her in his arms and hugged her tightly to his chest. “I love you, daughter. I only want what’s best for you.”
She winced as he bumped her shoulder. He quickly drew away. “Sorry.”
He let her go and turned to leave the room. “Promise me you’ll come to me from now on. I know I haven’t always been approachable, but I intend to change that.”
She nodded her head and he exited, closing her door behind him.
She should be dancing. Singing. Feel completely exulted. At last, she had gained what she had wanted all along. A choice. Only now it didn’t matter. Because her choice didn’t want her.
But she would not allow herself to dwell on it any longer. It was time to crawl out from beneath the rock she had hidden under for a week. She could not die even if she couldn’t contemplate ever truly living again.
###
That evening she went down to dinner for the first time since her parents had returned. She didn’t miss their looks of surprise when she entered the dining room.
Dinner was a casual buffet served from the sideboard, so she collected a plate and busied herself with placing food on it. She hadn’t anticipated, however, how difficult it would be to prepare a plate with one hand.
“Here, allow me,” Quinn said next to her.
She turned and smiled. “Thank you.”
He took her plate and began serving up generous portions of the entrees. “I’m glad to see you out of your room.”
He escorted her to the table where she slid in between his seat and Sebastian’s. Sebastian, too had a welcoming smile for her. “How are you feeling, Sprite?”
