“I need to pack,” I say again.
This time, my mother doesn’t stop me.
I go upstairs to the twins’ room. Mila and Alexei are still asleep, curled up together in Mila’s bed like they always do when they’re scared or uncertain. They must have sensed something was wrong last night when I wasn’t there to tuck them in.
I sit on the edge of the bed and smooth Mila’s hair back from her face. She has my dark hair, my blue eyes. Alexei looks more like his father. Green eyes, sharper features, even at four years old.
I need to wake them. Tell them we’re leaving. Tell them their entire life is about to change.
“Mila. Alexei.” I shake them gently. “Wake up, babies.”
Mila stirs first, blinking up at me. “Mama?”
“I’m here.”
Alexei sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Where were you last night?”
“I had to take care of something. But I’m here now.” I pull them both close. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” Mila asks.
“We’re moving today. To a new house.”
Both of them go still.
“Why?” Alexei’s voice is small.
“Because it’s time. We’re going to live somewhere bigger, nicer. Somewhere that’s ours.”
“I don’t want to leave.” Mila’s eyes fill with tears. “I like it here.”
“I know, baby. But this is what’s best for us.”
“Is Grandma and Grandpa coming too?” Alexei asks.
“No. Just us. You, me, and…” I swallow hard. “And your new stepfather.”
“Stepfather?” Mila looks confused. “You said our dad was dead.”
My chest tightens. “I know. But I got married yesterday. To someone who’s going to take care of us now.”
“But you didn’t tell us.” Alexei’s face crumples. “You didn’t ask us.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But sometimes grown-ups have to make decisions quickly.”
“I don’t want a stepfather.” Mila starts crying. “I want to stay here.”
I pull them both against me, holding tight while they cry. I want to tell them it’s going to be okay. That everything will be fine. That this new life won’t be scary.
But I don’t know if any of that is true.
So I just hold them and let them cry.
After a while, their sobs quieten. Mila sniffles against my shoulder. Alexei pulls back and wipes his eyes. “Do we have to go?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Today?”
