I noticed the lamp had been replaced. My laptop was scratched on one edge but none the worse for wear. I was missing a few pieces of clothing which I assumed had been damaged. Knowing Tane, he had it all sent out for repairs. He was the type of guy who left nothing undone.
It was late and I was lying like a slug on my bed watching TV when I heard loud voices. I got up and opened my door, sticking my head out partway. The noise came from the second floor.
“You want me out? Fine. I'll go and I'll never come back. How's that?”
“That's not what I meant. All I'm saying is you need to get your own place. You're twenty-one now. I would think you would want your own space anyway. Your own privacy.”
“Tell yourself that lie all you want when the truth is you just don't want me around at all and you never did.”
The confrontation was happening, the one Tane alluded to that he’d tried to avoid for so long. As I expected, Tane’s voice was the lowest, the calmest while his son was shrieking and yelling, sometimes at the top of his lungs.
“That isn't true. I've let you stay here because you’re my son.”
“That's not the same as saying you want me here.”
“I did want you here. Now I'm saying it's time for you to grow up, get your own place.”
“That's what you always say when I don't do everything you like or approve of, that I need to grow up. Maybe you need to stop trying to control everything around you. Maybe you needto stop making up for the fact that you're responsible for Papa’s death.”
“What?”
“Stop pretending it was an accident.”
“Malin, if you think it wasn't, you're wrong. How long have you felt this way?”
“Ever since that day, Dad. I heard you two arguing. Right before he left. And then there was a storm coming. You had to know. The clouds were piling up that day, turning black, but you still let him go because you didn't care. You never cared about us, just your work.”
“Malin….” His voice went soft. “Yes, we argued that day. But it was a minor thing. He wanted to fly. Before he left we talked about the weather and he said it would be fast, he'd go out a bit, turn around and come back within the hour. He just needed air.”
“I don't believe you."
“It's the truth. We had a bond. I could feel him. Everything was fine.”
“You lie.”
“I felt the bond cut off with no warning. I have never lied to you, son.” He’d softened his voice as he spoke.
“Whatever. I don't care anymore. You don't want me around, fine.”
“You have the money to get your own place. I would think you would want that.”
“You would think that. But this is the place where I can remember him best. More proof you don't give a fuck at all.”
Silence for about five seconds.
Malin continued, loud and brash. “Were you ever going to give him to me?”
“Who?”
“Kirion.”
I drew back when I heard my name, my heart in my throat.
“You said you didn't want him.”
“Maybe I changed my mind.”
My throat closed up in shock. I almost choked taking my next breath.
