“You should probably get back inside before Holden steals your best man duties out from under you.”
“I need to talk to you first.”
The statement has his attention shifting away from the water, falling to my face instead. His expression gives nothing away, remaining as impassive as carved marble when he whispers a single word.
“About?”
“My brother. He just said…” I shake my head, still struggling to find my train of thought. “Why’d you end it, Cam?”
There it is again—that flicker of longing in his gaze. But what’s even more painful than that? The way I watch him slip back into character, donning the mask of indifference once again.
“Because there was no point in continuing it. We both know that.”
Emotion clogs my throat, now seeing the lie written in the lines of his lips and jaw. And though it guts me, knowing he’s hurting, it also has the hope inside me bursting at the seams.
“You were never good at faking it,” I murmur softly.
His jaw tics, and he looks away. “Guess that makes one of us.”
Oh, baby…
I reach out instinctively, my hand landing on his forearm, but within a second, he’s pulling it out of reach. And it has my heart sinking to my stomach.
“Cam—”
“Don’t, Lo,” he says, and at first, I think it’s a warning. Until his gaze finds mine again, and gone is the mask, leaving little more than a pleading look for reprieve staring back at me.“Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is. Just do me that one favor, okay?”
I want to honor his request, seeing the anguish in his ocean eyes, and knowing I’m the reason it’s there. But I can’t. Not if I have the means to take it away.
Not if I can fix everything.
“Why didn’t you tell me you heard Bailey on the phone?”
His lips contort in a grimace, and he gives a helpless shrug. “Why should I have? The entire thing was built on a lie, and you were the only one who knew the real score.”
“It wasn’t a lie.”
“Bullshit, it wasn’t a lie. You tricked me into a fake relationship under the guise of helping me, saying you needed your parents off your back, when you were selfishly doing it to…what? To get over Lexi? Or biding your time until she was available?” His tone stays calm the whole time, despite wavering slightly, and he lets out a humorless laugh. “Honestly, I figured you would’ve been glad I ended it when I did, leaving you open to pursue the person you actually wanted.”
“Except the person I wanted wasyou,Cam,” I implore, searching his gaze. “Yes, I thought I loved her, and I was terrified of her knowing. I didn’t wantanyoneto know, but her finding out was the worst of all. So when I thought she was putting the pieces together, I told her we were seeing each other.”
I finally voice the truth, and it comes out so easily, it’s nearly impossible to understand why I didn’t say it from the jump. But unlike the saying goes, my honesty doesn’t set me free. Instead, it just fucking drowns me when I see his expression growing more afflicted.
“And what? You thought I was too stupid to keep it a secret?” he asks, unable to stop his voice from cracking. “That’s why you lied?”
And though I don’t want to, I force myself to whisper a single,heartbreaking word.
“Yes.”
His jaw clenches and he shakes his head, looking out over the lake again. “Well, at least you’re being honest about it now.”
My tongue pokes at the inside of my cheek while I look up at the sky, and all the hope I’d been feeling begins to wither and die inside me.
I wish he’d give me something; some indication that Oakley was right. That I’m not alone in this, and there’s some version of tonight where we walk out of here together. But I’m starting to think maybe this is it. The end of the road.
“I didn’t think it mattered anymore. The reason this all started…” I trail off, clearing my throat. “It wasn’t something I even thought about after New York. Fuck, after the banquet, even. Because I didn’t want her. It was in the past for me.”
“But it wasn’t for me,” he replies instantly, and though I feel his gaze on me again, I don’t have the strength to meet it. “Don’t you see that, Lo? For me, it was brand new information. Information I was hearing secondhand, through your bedroom door, while you were on the phone with the only person who knew how you really felt. And when he said she was your fantasy, I knew I couldn’t compete with that, so I took the out I saw.”
