“Speak to me, sweetheart,” I whisper, and I kneel before her and cup her little cheeks.
Tears slip down her cheeks as I quickly brush them away, and she sobs, “I feel like he is my daddy. He loves me, he treats me special and calls me his. He tucks me in at night and helps me with my homework…”
Oh my baby girl…
“Look at me sweetheart,” I whisper but she doesn’t, so I whisper, “Lyra,” and as soon as we make eye contact, I say, “I’m not mad, sweetheart, and honestly, I truly believe Alex will love to be that role for you.”
“Really?” she asks with hope, and a deep voice behind me confirms, “He will,” and Lyra squeals, “Grandpa,” and I chuckle as she rushes his way.
She took to calling Ice that as soon as we got back after meeting my dad, and I never corrected her because somehow, if Alex and I don’t work, the club will continue to be in Lyra’s life.
They are the family she was missing, and I’d never dream of taking that away from my girl.
Sighing, I stand and look towards the door. Lyra is already wrapped securely in Ice's arms, while Caleb stands beside them,grinning as he licks chocolate off his mouth and the sight makes me chuckle.
"I hope you don’t mind, Mrs. Trivers showed us the way,” he says, his eyes assessing me with concern.
I give him a slight smile, grab Lyra’s things from beside the door, then walk to my desk. I take out Lyra’s chocolate egg from a drawer and put it in her bag, all without a word to him and I ensure I have everything for her.
“Is she staying the whole weekend or just one night?” I finally ask, and he grins widely.
“The whole weekend with her daddy,” he says softly, and I nod, not disputing his words.
"Okay, Alex has nearly all her things now, and both she and Caleb have finished their work—they just need to read their books this weekend," I say as I hand him her bag and Ice gives me a soft look.
“You’re a good one, you know that?” he says but I shake my head. He softens his tone, “You did what you had to. Just remember, she was on borrowed time after the crap she caused. I’m just sorry you had to be the one to do it.”
"It’s brought a lot back," I whisper. He frowns, so I half-admit, "My first boyfriend cheated, then he died too, and I nearly did with him. It brought a lot back."
He nods in understanding. ”And what about having the receptionist take the kids out? Is that you still trying to come to terms, or are you hiding out?” he asks, and I wince.
“A bit of both, I guess. I’m not quite sure how the parents see me right now,” I admit.
I know they cheered when I came back, but I saw a few raised brows, and I know whatever Mrs. Jones said got in their heads.
I don’t want to upset the kids.
Ice sighs but nods. “Please don’t keep him out for too long, Hol. He misses you,” Ice whispers before he kisses my head, andI swallow hard as Lyra and Caleb wave to me before they leave. Everything in me screams to follow them, to not let them out of my sight, begging Ice to take me with him, to Alex, but I stay put.
While I have flashbacks, I'm better off keeping my distance so I can try coming to terms with what I did to Caleb. I really keep my distance because I believe they’re both happier without me, and that realization aches deeply.
Chapter 23
Dirty
I grunt as I tighten up the bolt on the Honda's cam belt, sweat dripping down my brow and back, causing my tank to stick to my body, and frustration consumes me as it has for the past four fucking days without my girls. It only keeps building the longer Holly takes to speak to me.
I feel like I’m missing a part of myself, and I honestly don’t fucking understand how Anchor, fuck, even Trigger dealt with this kind of shit.
I’m ready to blow.
The bolt jolts and fall to the floor, and I roar out in anger as I climb off the car and throw my wrench across the workshop, causing it to bang against the wall and I breathe heavily.
I can’t fucking do this. Why won’t she just speak to me?
“Well,” Ace mutters, and I glare his way with warning not to open his mouth like he had when we heard Caleb crying over the phone a few weeks ago, because I cannot and will not be held responsible for the beating he’s going to get.
“Not a good time,” I snap before I bend down and grab the bolt, and Ace sighs.
