“I thought you told Lana you couldn’t take them because you’re pregnant?”
“Yes.” I did tell her that, didn’t I. “Have you heard from Sparky yet?”
Narrowing her eyes, she tells me, “No.”
“JJ?”
“No, I haven’t heard from anyone, that’s why I’m here. I couldn’t stop at the house any longer.”
I sometimes look at my mother-in-law and wonder how she copes with a husband and a son in the club, especially during times like these.
“How far along are you?” she goes on to ask.
“A few weeks.” Before she can ask any more questions, I tell her, “Jay doesn’t know yet, can you not mention it to him until I tell him.”
“Sure.”
We head inside and Alannah is sat in the kitchen, staring at her phone.
“How’s Rayna?” she asks.
“In trouble with Holly but in her room and safe.”
She nods and returns to staring at her phone. I still haven’t heard from JJ. Leo still hasn’t found him.
“Should I prepare for the worst?” I blurt out.
Lana and Bonnie look to one another. “He’s coming home, Harper. They all are,” Lana tells me adamantly.
“It’s only a question of when,” Bonnie adds.
I often take huge amounts of advice from them both because they’ve been through everything between them, but this time, I'm not so quick to believe them.
I've lost my mom. I've lost Slade. I'm going to lose JJ. He didn’t even say goodbye to me before he left. I can’t remember our last words or where we were when we spoke them. I have nothing, just like I’ll have nothing when his body comes back lifeless.
I'm going to lose everyone and all I have left is Gunner. I can’t let anything happen to him. I'm his mother and without his daddy around to protect him, I have to step up and take both roles on.
“I should get him back to Holly’s. She's cooking dinner and he needs his bath.” Bonnie puts him down on the floor and I take hold of his hand.
“Say goodbye to your grandmas’.”
“Bye-bye.”
“Bye-bye, darling.”
I feel their eyes stabbing me in the back as I leave. I stare across at Holly’s house, but it doesn’t feel right to go back there. If JJ doesn’t make it home, I’ll have nowhere to go, not since I burned down our house with Leo. Gunner and I will have no one and no home. We'll be just like Lily and me when I was growing up, and I refuse to let that happen.
Gunner will never know how hard life can be, or how it feels to be alone while having a parent at his side.
I need to find us a home.
Shane's empty house catches my eye. He won’t need it anymore and Annie isn’t coming back.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let's go home.”
“Daddy?”
“No, this is gonna be our home.”
