* * *
Being alone on Christmas sucked as much as it always had. In fact, I had the pleasure of finding out it was even worse. I had skipped a boisterous family gathering and a day with Clover to do what? Make a point?
To keep my unspoken promise to be better than my brother.
Yes, and no. To give Clover what she wanted.
Now it was New Year’s Eve, and I was alone again. I could go to the bar, see if I could find that soulmate, but a large part of me didn’t want to look. All of me didn’t want to look.
I was so close to launching my company. New year, new me.
So why was I sitting at my desk staring at my phone? The screen was black, like it had been all day.
Fuck, I needed friends.
I had them, and I had ditched them all on Christmas.
Shoving a hand through my hair, I blew out a breath. Maybe Clover was onto something. Learning to be alone might be critical to how well I’d do at all this. Enjoy my own company when I didn’t have to handle my parents and their narcissistic neediness.
Yeah.
I picked up my phone.
Me: Happy New Year! Partying hard?
I carefully set it down. Why’d I go open that door? New year, new her. New Bean. New niece or nephew.
Several minutes ticked by.
Fuck me. I really did need to be comfortable being alone.
I needed friends—ones I haven’t fucked and obsessed over.
Happy New Year to me.
There was a knock at the door. After dinner?
Frowning, I checked the time. Oh. It was much later. A few more hours and I’d be ringing in the new year.
I brought my phone with me. Was Clover having a blast with her nieces and nephews? Sipping on sparkling juice, having pizza and junk food? Envy tugged at my chest walls. Not for Clover, but for everyone else.
I needed to get a life.
Opening the door without looking, my pulse spiked. “Clover?” I peered out behind her. “Everything okay?”
A smile burst through her pensive expression. I stepped back, gently tugging her inside.
“Yes, it’s fine.” She clutched her mittened hands together. “I should’ve called first. Are you in the middle of something?”
I closed the door behind her. “No, not at all.” Did that sound light enough to play it off like I was a computer nerd who had no friends?
“Okay. It was a last-minute thing. I was talking to my sisters over Christmas…” Her gaze froze on me for a second before she shook her head. “Anyway, I didn’t want to ring in New Year’s Day by sleeping through it.”
Delight filled me like a helium balloon. My night turned around. “I could’ve come to your place.”
“I know. It’s good for me to get out, and it’s been such a slow week.” She took her gloves off and shrugged out of her coat. “A lot of people are out until after the holidays, so it’s quiet even for working at home.”
Her belly under a plain black sweater was even bigger than last time. A weird sense of loss filled me. It’d only been a week. She looked down and winced. “I didn’t change out of the sweats I wore all day. It was kind of an impromptu decision to come here.”
