“All of those things I just listed is everything Zaria has to deal with. That smile you see on her face hasn’t always been like that. She, too, has been on this very side of me as you are, like Dio. I have been the one who made her cry. No relationship is perfect, including the one you see all the time. Those tears you're crying, I get they are from hurt, but in this moment, I don’t care about them.”
More tears streamed down my face. Chevy was being so harsh, so unloving, it felt just as it did last night when Dio and I argued. “So, what? I’m supposed to not do anything? Sit in the house and waste away? Am I not supposed to enjoy moments with my friends? I would never cheat on Dio. Ever,” I cried.
He dropped his head. “Samara, the ask is not that you don’t go out and have fun. The ask is not that you shouldn’t be told things, because I agree with you: no secrets. Hell, I even agree that you’re no one’s property. However, Dio doesn’t move like the rest of the Zoo. He is smart, calculated, and he needs a woman who understands thatand moves accordingly. You have to trust that if he doesn’t tell you something, it’s for a reason. I don’t give a fuck what happened last night because I can only imagine. Let me ask you this. What would you have done if Dio had slit that nigga’s throat in your face or blown his fucking brains out because he loves you that fucking much? That is how much I love Zaria. A nigga can’t even utter a word to her without me being ready to break my foot off in his ass, but on the back end, the love I give her is one I made sure another couldn’t compare to. That is the type of love you’ve been eager to have. Now, can you handle that?”
Everything he was saying to me made me feel horrible. He made me feel like I had fucked up something that could have been beautiful. Dio meant everything to me, and somewhere along the line, I fell flat. My shoulders bounced up and down as I sobbed because deep inside, I knew I had lost the love of my life.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Come on, Tink. Shhh,” I said while trying to get her to go to sleep.
My life was fucked. There was no way I could manage school, the line, and my daughter. A nigga was breaking by the second. I texted my coach to let him know we needed to talk. The door to the room opened, and all I could do was drop my head.
“The fuck! Nigga, you got a kid in here?” Xavier shouted.
“Tell the entire hall. Screaming and shit.”
He shrugged. “Shit, I should. Who is that, yo sister?” He nodded my way before turning to his bed.
“My daughter.”
His head slowly turned. “Oh shit. You got a kid?” he said as he turned to the door. “Aye, Percy got a baby!” he joked. “I’m fucking with you. Look, I know that’s your baby and all, but we can’t have her in here, so what are you going to do because I barely like you. I’m sure as hell not going to be the on-campus nigga sitter.”
He was right, and that shit was eating me. Honestly, I just wanted to get through the night and think about what happened next in the morning. However, the way my daughter was cutting up, I knew thatwasn’t going to happen. Xavier sat on the bed and watched me struggle trying to put my daughter to sleep. He crossed his arms over his chest like he was watching a movie.
“Nigga, you need popcorn?” I gritted.
“Shit, maybe. Her handling your big ass is kind of funny if you ask me. I can tell she doesn’t see you often because if she did, that shit would go way smoother.”
I cut my eyes at him. “What? You the baby whisperer or some shit? Dawg, we already threw hands. It’s clear we got to go another round ‘cause yo mouth is getting reckless.”
He picked up some items as if he were about to leave. “Don’t ask for another beating you can’t handle. I’m just saying. Try lying her on her stomach and patting her to sleep. They say that’s good for babies. Bonding, nigga. It’s called bonding.”
I snarled at him, but at the same time tried what he said. Tink fussed a little but suddenly stopped crying.
“Told you!” Xavier laughed.
Not only did it agitate me that he knew what he was talking about, but it also made me curious about his major. “What’s your major?” I mumbled.
He eyed me weirdly. “Why?”
“It’s called killing the monotony, nigga.”
He chuckled as he shook his head. “I haven’t figured it out yet.”
My body shifted on the bed. “Wait. Nigga, you’re a junior, and you still don’t know? Sounds to me like you know something. I could see you being a doctor or some shit.”
The way he stared at me, I knew his wheels were turning. “Nah, I don’t have it in me,” he said.
Before I could respond, there was a knock at the door. I started to panic until I heard a familiar voice.
“Xavier, it’s me!” Phoebe yelled.
He limped to the door before opening it and letting her in. “Sup, Einstein?” he said to her.
Einstein?When she came further into the room and saw me, she froze.The fuck is this?I mouthed. The way she looked at me was filled with ‘I know I fucked up’.
Shut up, she mouthed back.
