I limped over to the cart of basketballs, I picked one up, and I dribbled it a few times. After taking a slight pause as I gazed at the basket, I dribbled again. “I’m going to be a fucking star,” I whispered.
Swoosh!
I snatched another one up, now moving my upper body as if I were crossing someone. “Black boy dream.”
Swoosh!
I grabbed another. This time, I tried doing a little footwork. “Shit!” I hissed.
I stopped and stared at the ball because I knew that shit was real. I dropped my head and took a deep breath. “I’ll see you next season. Hopefully, my game is still there,” I mumbled.
I bent my knees slightly, dribbled, and flexed my wrist, releasing the ball into the air. It bounced off the rim of the basket, missing it. I shook my head. Even the universe knew that was bullshit. I backed away and turned to see my coach standing there. He walked over to me.
“Don’t give up. Look, maybe you need a mentor. Someone who’s been where you are. Maybe show you that with or without basketball, there are still great things you can do out there. Don’t limit yourself because if this can happen to you while in college, it can happen to you in the league. I know someonewho is looking for a little help during spring break. If you’re not doing anything, I would love to recommend you.”
Honestly, I didn’t care. Since the season started, I’d sat back at every home game and watched my team win and lose without me. The shit was a hard pill to swallow. Now that we were back in a new semester, I had to repeat the same shit all over again. We were coming up on the first home game, and I wasn’t interested in going to it, and I was even less interested in this mentorship. I shrugged. He gave me a slow nod.
“I will keep you updated. Just keep your head up. I’ll see you at the game.”
When I left the gym, I left my emotions for the game as well. It was time to navigate in my own way, which meant healing and getting myself in order now that I had decided to no longer use my brother as a cushion.
SAMARA
Dio and I hadn’t talked, and it was starting to take a toll on me. From the things my mother was saying to what was actually happening, it all started to add up, or it seemed like they did, and I was lost. I wanted to be wrong about it all; I wanted to be called delusional, but it seemed as if it was all true. I moved around the dean’s office, faxing, typing, and answering the phone like a fucking secretary. For the most part, it kept my mind occupied, but the quiet moments were when I thought about Dio. I sat at the desk, gazing at the screen, when Dean August stopped by.
“Samara, I wanted to say you’re doing a great job, and I’m happy we’ve selected you.”
I gave her a fake smile. “Thank you.”
She started to walk off but stopped. “You said your major was somewhere in the arts?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I may have something you’re interested in. Have you thought of traveling abroad for the summer? I know someone who hosts a trip each year. I can put in a word if you like.”
My eyes lit up. Traveling and exploring art? It all sounded great,but if I left, what would really become of Dio and me? Would that truly be the end of us? She must have known I was a bit hesitant because she tapped my shoulder.
“Traveling out of the country isn’t for everyone, and it can be a lot when you’re close to your family and friends. Think about it. If you’re interested, let me know, and I will put that word in for you. Deal?”
Presenting her with a weak smile, I replied, “Deal.”
She nodded and headed down the hall. Moments after she disappeared, a girl walked into the office. She looked familiar, but I could have been tripping since my mind was all over the place.
“Hello. How can I help you?” I asked.
She didn’t smile, yet she stared at me like she was analyzing me. “I have an appointment with Dean August.”
I typed on my computer to check the schedule. “Any slower and I’m going to be late,” she hissed.
My fingers stopped. “According to this, you’re already late.” I paused as my eyes rose to her. “Apple. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll get you back there. Have a seat, please.”
She sucked her teeth as she walked over toward the seats, but didn’t sit down. It was as if she were antsy. My eyes scanned over her.Pretty, probably thinks she’s better than everyone else, but I could put money on it that she is flawed under all that.I stood from the desk and went around.
“Right this way,” I told her.
She stood and looked me up and down. We walked alongside each other in silence until we reached the door. I somewhat brushed her side as I tapped the door, opened it, and let her in. She damn near bumped me out of the way as she walked in. I let off a light scoff as I closed the door behind her. I walked back to my desk and opened my hand to a small bag of pills.
“So, you’re a pill popper?” I mumbled.
