Once I was done, I got up and walked over to the bathroom to clean myself up. I had an hour break after my physics class, and I’d asked Percy to meet me in one of the buildings that wasn’t being used. Percy got up from the desk, slid the condom off, and threw it in the trash.
“What’s up with you? What type of shit are you on?”
I slid back into my black leather tights and shoes, then grabbedmy bag. “Don’t matter. You just got your nut,” I said as I walked out of the room.
Now that I was finished getting the few minutes of pleasure I needed, I felt guilty. This was the side of me that Syior didn’t know about. Percy was referenced as number two. He and I got acquainted in my freshman year and his sophomore year. He was one of the better players on the football team, but he was a man of many mysteries, so I didn’t allow myself to get attached. I didn’t get attached to any of the men I slept with because to me, they were purely a coping mechanism. I tried getting close to guys and building relationships with all the cutesy stuff, but the closest I got was what Syior and I had.
Most of the men on campus only liked me because of my looks but would, in the same breath, call me weird. The question I was often asked was how I ended up at an HBCU. The real question that should have been asked was: how does a girl who looks like me flip the switch? Because when I went home, I was the spoiled Polo player. I was the Black girl society wanted to see, whether I wanted to be categorized or not.
When I left the old Mercier Hall, I headed off to my next class only to see Xavier hopping his simple ass toward the yard. I wasn’t sure of his reason for asking me out, but it was clear he needed a pretty face on his shoulder. The few hours we shared were okay. I couldn’t lie; he piqued my interest, but I wasn’t the type of girl to chase after men.
“Ayo, Phoebe!” someone called out.
When I saw Harlem coming toward me, I looked back to see if Percy was coming from the building. Harlem was my cope number three. The only thing with him was that I had cut him off last summer, but he kept coming around as if the words ‘I’m done’ didn’t apply to him. He was on the hood side, but if you asked me, it was all a façade.
Harlem came from a pretty wealthy family; he was an only child, spoiled rotten. He swore he was the school’s weed man and had been selling it for years, but the truth was he was smart and grew weed in his house and sold it on campus. He was a nerd just like me, but he was draped in tattoos, had locs, and changed how he talked when he was around the guys he called his friends.
“Slow yo’ ass down,” he said as he caught up with me. “You can’t call a nigga or what?”
I laughed. “A nigga? Harlem, fool somebody else, not me.”
He glanced around before his eyes landed back on me. “Fine, Phoebe. Why haven’t you called me?” he asked. He had code-switched just that fast.
Before I could answer, a loud cackle coming from the yard pulled my eyes toward it. Xavier was laughing obnoxiously. I pulled my eyes away to focus back on Harlem.
“I’ve been busy,” I said dryly.
He rubbed his hands together. “Bet. Bet. So, are you busy tonight? Can I come over?”
“Yo’, Harlem!” someone called out to him.
He turned and waved them off. “You going to answer the question?”
My eyes landed back on Xavier, who was now staring at me. “I’ll text you,” I mumbled as I walked off toward the yard.
The closer I got to Xavier, his laughter stopped. “Phoebe, what’s up, girl?”
I shrugged. “You tell me. I mean, I wanted to know what was so funny. I want to laugh too,” I hissed before I smirked.
His friends standing around him snickered as their attention landed on him. Xavier’s face changed as he became serious. “Ayo, move around with all that. What I was laughing at had nothing to do with you.”
“That’s what your mouth says, but your actions say differently.Next time you want someone to help your crippled ass, don’t ask me,” I snapped and walked off.
The anxiety in me was building as I tried not to focus on all my problems. I was a sophomore, having sex with two different men, a science major, and a girl who had the pressure of being the perfect child on my shoulders. I didn’t have time for Xavier and whatever he called himself doing. I guess what I took as him liking me was purely my form of delusion, and I wasn’t going to let him do the shit again. Maybe this was a taste of my own medicine, considering how I treated the men I was fucking with.
To me, TSU was nothing but a big-ass hoodversity of bullshit that I was wrapped up in.
PERCY
I watched out of the building window to see Phoebe talking to another nigga like she wasn’t just riding my dick a minute ago. This was the second time. It was one thing to fuck with a nigga off campus because pulling her away from that was easy, but to fuck with a nigga on campus knowing she and I were somewhat locked in was bold. I shook my head because I thought that after a year of knowing her, we would’ve been in a relationship by now. I offered to take her out a few times, but she had turned me down. That was when I realized what she and I had was strictly sex. I wanted to change that because a girl like Phoebe was one I felt like I needed. She wasn’t like the other girls I’d dealt with before. She was more of a loner, didn’t want to be in the spotlight, didn’t ask for much, and stayed to herself. Being an athlete, one who held high recognition, the expectation was for me to have one of the baddest known bitches on my arm. However, that wasn’t what I wanted. With the way my life was set up, I needed a girl who could support me in any decision I made, someone who would accept me and my baggage.
I had gone from being that nigga to being at the beck and call of a girl who didn’t seem to want anything more than sex. I waited untilshe disappeared and the niggas were gone before I came out. My phone vibrated in my pocket. When I pulled it out, I noticed my Nana was calling.
“Sup, Nan?” The sound of my daughter’s cries blared through the phone. “What’s wrong with her, Nan?”
My Nana’s frustration came through the phone. “Percy, this baby needs things like food, diapers, and her daddy’s time. You know her momma ain’t worth a damn.”
I clenched the phone tight in my hand because she was right. “I’m waiting for my refund, Nan. I’m tapped right now,” I told her honestly.
