I rest my elbows on my knees with my hands clasped loosely. No nerves. Just an unusual willingness to be vulnerable.
“I identify as sexually fluid,” I say evenly. “And I’ve recently entered into a relationship with two women.”
Caleb’s eyebrows shoot up.
Calla’s lips twitch.
“One of whom is trans,” I add.
There’s a beat of silence.
Then—
“About time,” Caleb blurts as a smile creeps onto his face.
Calla leans forward, smirking. “It’s about damn time you stopped running from Lena and Zaria’s fine asses.”
I blink.
“Wait—what?” I ask taken aback by my siblings.
Caleb chuckles. “You thought we didn’t notice?”
Calla shakes her head. “You’ve been moving around like a man fighting himself for months.”
Mama smiles softly, pride shining in her eyes.
“I’m so happy,” she says gently, “that you finally stopped living by the rules of a dead man. Especially when he was a hypocrite in the living.”
The room goes still. Dr. Manning is quiet. Allowing us to communicate without interference. A stark contrast from when we first started attending.
Caleb’s amusement fades. Calla straightens.
“What does that mean?” I ask quietly.
Mama inhales slowly. “Your father… explored more than he ever admitted.”
All three of us freeze.
She continues carefully. “He was attracted to men and women. And yes, that includes trans women as well.”
Caleb sits up fully now. Calla’s eyes widen.
“You’re joking,” Caleb says with shock.
“I am not,” Mama replies.
My brain struggles to process it.
“The shame he carried,” she continues, voice steady but weighted, “ate him alive. He never reconciled his faith with his desire. And instead of doing the work, he turned that conflict outward.”
The room goes very quiet.
“I believe,” she says softly, “a lot of his abuse came from self-hatred. From wanting to silence parts of himself he could not accept.”
I feel something shift inside me. Not forgiveness. Not yet.
But understanding.
