Caleb runs a hand down his face. “We got punished us for things he couldn’t face in himself.”
“Yes,” Mama says gently.
Calla exhales sharply. “That’s… cowardly.”
“It was broken,” Mama corrects softly. “And I refuse to let that brokenness dictate how any of you live.”
She turns to me fully.
“I am proud of you,” she says. “For choosing happiness and freedom over repression. For choosing love without shame.”
My mother’s words lift a fear from my spirit that has been taking up space it never deserved.
“I didn’t want to follow in his footsteps,” I admit quietly. “I didn’t want to hurt people because I was afraid of who I am.”
Caleb stands and comes to me. He pulls me up and wraps me in the type of hug only a big brother can give. “You won’t.”
I hug him back. My relationship with Caleb had been strained for years. I’d exerted an embarrassing amount of energy and effort trying to win my father’s approval by way of giving my big brother my ass to kiss. Now we were closer than ever. Calebwas my best friend. Not only had he extended me forgiveness. Caleb also made sure I had all the perks that come with having a big brother. Love. Support. A best friend.
Calla nods. “You’re nothing like him.”
Mama’s eyes soften even more. “And you will not carry his shame. Not anymore.”
I was ready to fully accept myself and the idea of being fluid. I was ready to embrace loving beyond rigid lines. This doesn’t feel like rebellion or resistance. It feels normal. I wasn’t bucking against the system. I was simply living my life the way I wanted.
It feels like freedom I’m excited to enjoy.
Dr. Manning leans forward slightly with her pen resting against her notebook.
“Calil,” she says gently, “how do you feel saying that out loud?”
I sit back in my chair and let my mind marinate instead of rushing to answer it.
How do I feel?
“Relieved,” I say first. “Clear.”
She nods. “Do you feel any conflict? Any shame?”
The old version of me might have hesitated. Might have scanned the room for approval before speaking.
This version doesn’t.
“No,” I answer honestly. “I’ve spent enough time in conflict. That’s what silence does. It creates tension where there doesn’t have to be any.”
I glance at Mama briefly, then back at the therapist.
“I’m not confused. I’m not experimenting. I’m not trying to rebel. I’m choosing to love.”
Dr. Manning tilts her head. “And are you prepared to be public? To love both women with equality and fervor?”
That question should make me stop to think. But it doesn’t.
I don’t hesitate.
“Yes.”
Caleb’s eyes flick to me. Not trying to assess my response, but to lend me his support. Calla watches me. Her watchful eye isn’t one that measures my sincerity. It’s one that’s sending me love.
