“Okay, Vee, get this mama home so she can rest. The rest of us ladies have the clean-up.”
“Yes ma’am. Give me and Arizona a second to load all your gifts into my car and then we’ll go.” I tell Ash. So far, so good. I’ve had an amazing night with my girls and the three men who own my heart didn’t show up.
But why does that also make me feel so much worse?.
Chapter 17
Vee
Thiswasthelastplace I wanted to be.
Even sitting here in my car outside the Hellions Clubhouse, I contemplate texting Ash and feigning some kind of illness. A stomach bug or something that I don’t want to spread to her. She’s hugely pregnant and close to her due date. It would be a great excuse not wanting her to become ill.
But I don’t.
Because my best friend in the world wants me here.
It seems like a lifetime since I’ve been here, even though I know it hasn’t. The clubhouse looks the same as always—dim lights, scarred wood, the scent of smoke and motor oil soaked into every wall. Bikes line the front of the building. My eyes scan through them, looking for two in particular. Hank’s and Luke’s. I know Josh has one, but I haven’t seen it. The only times I’ve seen him he’s had his truck.
A flash of light shining through my windshield draws my attention. The front door to the clubhouse opens, and out strolls Hank. He’s alone. Heading straight for his bike. He’s movingfast, his leather jacket hanging open, a black long sleeve shirt underneath. It’s as if the cold means nothing to him.
I watch as he swings his leg over his bike, settling down on his seat. He takes his helmet, lifting it up to put on his head. Where did that come from? Was it in his hand the whole time? Then his eyes lift and lock onto mine.
For one fragile second, we are the only two people in the world. No club. No betrayal. No ending. No ultimatum hanging over my head to make a decision. It’s just us. Hank and me.
Then, just as quickly as he looked at me, he turns away, puts on his helmet, revs his bike and then rides out of the parking lot. My heart caves in on itself. The only bright side is he didn’t have a girl under his arm, or riding on his bike.
The ache in my chest spreads until it’s hard to breathe. All I want to do is start my car and go home. Not to Luca's clubhouse. But to my apartment. How did I even think I could see them and feel as if I wasn’t dying?
I take a deep breath. Calming my nerves. Then open my door. The sooner I get in there and make an appearance, the easier it will be to slip out and leave.
Each step across the parking lot to the door feels like quicksand. It takes every ounce of energy I have to trudge forward. When I get to the door, I freeze. My hand is on the knob, but I can’t turn it.
“Get it together, Vee. All you need to do is go in and find your girls. Hang out for a few then leave,” I mutter.
Opening the door, I step inside. My mouth drops open as my eyes drag across the room. It’s been turned into a Christmas wonderland. Lights are strung carelessly across the beam, blinking in soft colors that feel so wrong in the building. A decorated tree stands in the center, pretending to make this place of violence and debauchery a home.
All I can do is stand there, hands tucked into the sleeves of my jacket, taking in the sight before me. There are no club girls here tonight. No wild sex taking place in view for everyone. Instead there are bikers, with their ol’ ladies and kids and friends of the clubs. My eyes scan the room, looking for Josh and Luke. I don’t see them, but that doesn’t mean they aren't here.
Ash comes out from down the hallway and practically runs toward me when she sees me.
“You came,” she squeals.
“Well, you did threaten bodily harm and never be able to see my nephew if I didn’t show up,” I remind her.
“It got you here. Didn’t it?” she gloats proudly. She takes me by the hand and takes off across the room toward Arizona, dragging me behind her.
Arizona steps away from Bash and Jace long enough to give both of us a hug.
“Sorry guys, but I’m stealing her. We need girl time,” Ash coos. She moves in between Arizona and me, looping her arms through ours and guides us over to the couch. We’ve barely sat down when Ryker, Colin, and Knox step in front of us with drinks and plates of food in hand. They don’t hang around, they just set them down on the table in front of us and leave.
“You girls have your men trained well.” I mean it as a joke, but damn if the words aren’t true. “And I swear you move faster than us and you’re nine months pregnant.” I add trying hard not to show how jealous I am of what they have. What I want: Love.
“Ash, why am I here?” I question her.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“Look around. It’s ol’ ladies, girlfriends, kids and club members. I am none of those.”
