“Hey babe.” He smiles widely as he places the papers on the couch beside him and opens his arms for me to join him. A sense of dread overtakes me.God, I hope I’m not going to ruin everything.
I shut the door behind me, dropping my bag on the floor before I move across the room toward him. My fingers tremble as I undo my jacket, taking it off and tossing it on the chair.
“What's wrong?” His voice is sharp, full of concern as he lowers his feet to the floor and sits up.
I should've known he'd sense something's off with me. Do I lie? Tell him nothing’s wrong, then casually bring up the opportunity Lorna offered? Or do I just rip it off like a bandaid? Put everything out there and wait for the fallout?
Neither option is great. Yet, I need to pick one.
“Felicity, what is it? Is it your mom? School?” He angles his body toward me, taking my hands in his as he pulls me down onto the couch beside him.
“Umm… Mom’s good. School’s fine. It’s work.” My voice rises in pitch with the last words.
He raises his eyebrows. “The diner?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“Oh? What happened?” His eyebrows furrow, the worry on his face clear, his hands stiffening in my grasp.
“No, it's nothing like that.” I clear my throat. Bandaid it is. “Lorna met with me before my… um… session tonight. She asked me to be part of this new event she's doing.”
Ezra lets out a breath of air, his body visibly relaxing. “That's great. But why do you look like you're about to throw up?”
“There's more. So she wants me to be part of a calendar put on by Behind the Lens. July actually. It will entail me doing a photoshoot and a video that could be the same as my live streams.”
I pause, not wanting to go on and tell him any more. But I have to. I can't keep this from him.
“Well, that doesn't sound bad. Is she not wanting you to wear your mask? I know how important keeping your anonymity is. You'd have to tell your mother, and I know it's something you never want to do. God forbid someone she knows accidentally stumbles across you.”
God, I love this man.
“Nope. I can keep the mask on. Lorna…” My voice wavers as I suck in a breath. “Fuck, I hate even saying this...”
The television volume grows loud as the canned laughter rings out. Ezra reaches over and picks up the remote, turning it off.
“Just spit it out, babe. You're scaring the shit out of me here. I'm ready to charge over to that place and corner her myself and have her tell me what has you so damn upset.”
The sad part is I know he would absolutely do that. Ezra would endure anything for me. I have no doubt he loves me with his whole heart.
“She wants me to have someone else in the shoot.”
He stills.
“Like... another person. In the video,” I add quickly. “Not just posing. Actually performing.”
The room goes quiet. So still I can hear the soft hum of the refrigerator.
“You could join me.” I rush out the words. “There’s an NDA and the usual test, but—”
“I can’t.” His answer is gentle, but firm. “If the school found out, I’d lose everything.”
“You could wear a mask,” I say, even though I know I’m grasping. “Like me.”
He shakes his head. “It’s still too risky. I love what I do. I love the kids. I can’t give that up.”
Ezra leans forward, placing his elbows on his legs as he steeples his fingers, resting his head atop them. I can't see his face, but the silence is killing me. Why didn't I just say no?
I don’t know how long we sit like that. Him not looking at me. The tension radiating off of him. Neither of us saying a word until I can't take the silence any longer.
