“Shut up,” I snap back at her, before quickly looking around to see if anyone else noticed. When all I see are eyes straight ahead on the professor, or heads down, hands busily scribbling notes, I let out a sigh of relief.
Get it together, Felicity. Now is not the time to squirm in your seat like you’re about to come undone in front of the whole damn class.
Every time I look toward Lorna’s door, Nova notices and gives me a small smile. My palms are sweaty and I can’t stop my legs from bouncing nervously. I know Nova said it wasn’t anything bad, but what if she isn’t happy with my channel’s performance, and she’s letting me go? I do have money in savings now, and Mom’s new job pays the majority of the bills, but if I lose thisincome, I’d have to figure out another way to pay for college. Other than sex, I don’t know where I can make the money I do now.
“You’re killing me, Bliss. It’s nothing bad. Believe me. You’re going to like it.” Nova's voice drifts over to me as she continues to type whatever she’s doing. No matter how many times I tell her to call me Felicity, she never does. I asked her once, and she said Bliss suited me better.
“I’m sorry,” I squeak, checking my phone for the time. It’s nearly four and all I can think about is still needing to get to my room and change.
Nova’s phone buzzes, and she picks up. “Yes, she is.” She lets out a laugh and I know she’s talking about me. “Yes, ma’am.” Nova hangs up the phone and directs her attention to me.
“You can go in now, Bliss.”
“Wish me luck,” I joke as I pass her desk, sending her into a fit of laughter.
I take hold of the handle, inhaling deeply before opening it and stepping into Lorna’s office.
She’s seated behind her desk, a perfect image of every picture or video I’ve seen of the President in the Oval Office. I bet if Lorna ran this country, we’d be out of debt and feared by every other country.
“Relax.” One word, but it’s full of warmth and for some reason I do just what she asks. “Take a seat. I know you’re short on time, but I wanted to talk to you today.”
I lower myself into the chair directly across from her. The very spot I was sitting when she offered me a job working for her. My mind is racing with what she possibly needs to talk to me about.
“Behind the Lens has an exciting project planned for the upcoming year. We’re doing a calendar of all our favorite stars, both in the adult video and cam fields. Each month, one star will be spotlighted. That person will do a photo and a video. I’vepicked you for July. All you would need to do is pick a holiday for that month to base the shoot around.”
My mouth drops. A calendar. A video. Star, she thinks I’m a star. Sure, I have a pretty decent following, but nothing compared to the other cammers.
“Me? Are you sure?” I ask again just to make sure I didn’t hear her wrong. I mean, she could have totally been asking me who I thought she should pick. Right?
“Yes, you Felicity. I know videos are not something you’ve delved into. But you can do basically the same thing you are now on your channel. It would just be a video form.” She clears her throat before continuing. “I know you’ve been solo on your site. Never bringing anyone in to join you. But, for this particular project, I think having someone else with you will push you to the next level. You don’t have to have sex with them, but just having another party in the video could really draw more viewers for you. If you don’t have someone in mind to join you, then we could have someone else with BTL step in.”
“Wow, that’s a lot to take in. I am so honored you picked me, and I’d love to do it. But… the…umm other person, could I talk with my boyfriend about that? He’s understanding of what I do here, but there’s also never been anyone else involved.”
“Absolutely. Can you get back to me tomorrow? And also, if you could, have your holiday picked by then as well. We’d like to go ahead and get you scheduled on the calendar. Chad would do the photo shoot, and then we would have a videographer on hand to do the video.”
“Thank you,” I say again, still so unsure what to make of this new opportunity. “Umm, could I still wear my mask?” I ask, knowing that’s also a deal breaker for me. There’s no way I want to do anything without it.
“You can. I will never ask you to show your face if you’re not ready to come out about your identity. Now I think you have a live to get ready for. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Lorna goes back to what she was doing on her laptop and I stand, making my way to the door. Before I leave, I turn back to her. “Thank you for this opportunity and for thinking of me. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiles back at me before I open the door and rush out.
Fuck me. What is Ezra going to say? He’s been cool about everything—until now. This might be the line he won’t cross.
Chapter 6
Felicity
Myheartisracingas I pull into Ezra’s driveway. I’ve been rehearsing this in my head the whole drive, but now that I’m here, every version sounds like a disaster. It’s a great opportunity for me to get more exposure and gain more subscribers. I’m just not sure how he will feel about Lorna wanting me to add someone to the mix.
Turning off my car, I open the door, picking up my overnight bag from the passenger seat before getting out. I pause for a moment and gaze upon the small two-bedroom house, sitting quietly under the weight of the night. A soft wind stirs the branches, rustling leaves as if they were whispers. A soft golden glow spills through the front windows.
I take a deep breath and step onto the wooden porch. The boards moan gently beneath the weight of my boots. The cold metal of the house key is heavy in my hand as I grip it tightly in my palm. My mind wanders back to a month ago when he gave it to me, nestled inside a black jewelry box. I smile faintly at the memory, then slide the key into the lock and turn it.
The door opens with a familiar click, the heat from the living room and the soft hum of the TV hitting me in the face. Ezra’s sitting on the couch, papers neatly stacked in his lap as he grades them. His feet are propped up on the coffee table like he owns the place, which, technically, he does. A comedy show is playing—some goofy, overacted thing with a laugh track—but he’s grinning like it’s the best thing he’s seen all week. This feels like home.
He glances over at me, not with surprise or shock, but happiness. The same look he always gives me when I step into a room. One that says he’s been waiting this whole time for me to arrive.
