‘No.’ His head turns, eyes dragging over me. ‘You prefer being their Baby Girl.’
The words spark like dry kindling, a wildfire rushing through every vein. For one suspended, torturous moment, I’m caught in his stare, wanting to shove everything off the desk and beg him to make me so. Right here. Right now.
Then he turns away.
And I’m left staring at his back, feeling oddly dismissed and chastised all at once.
‘That’s not to say you won’t…’ I hurry out, ignoring the sharp, misplaced pinch in my chest. ‘Have a woman, I mean?’
‘There ain’t a woman alive I’d share that with.’ A beat. ‘Other than you.’
The fire reignites instantly, everything in me wanting to read far too much into that one statement, and it takes me another minute to speak.
‘And Sadie.’ I’m being pedantic, I know I am, but I’m clinging to sanity here. ‘You said?—’
‘I said “once there’s a baby on the way.” Until then, this stays between us. Theo, Sadie – they don’t learn about it until there’s something to learn about. Got it?’
His tone makes it clear: it ain’t up for debate. And when I really think about it, I’m not sure I want to fight him on it. As much as I hate keeping something this big from them – Sadie especially – there’s no point opening that can of worms until thereissomething to tell.
Especially as I can just imagine hownotokay with it they’d be. Not so much Axel being the donor, but the sex.Definitelythe sex.
And the last thing I want is their judgement on top of my own for however long this continues, which brings me to my next bullet point.
‘How long are you willing to keep trying?’
He lets out a low chuckle and turns to face me fully, arms folding, eyes burning me alive. ‘You want an end date?’
‘Don’t you?’
Nothing. Not a flicker.
‘We agreed to no other lovers until I’m pregnant,’ I reason, ‘and there’s no telling how long it could take. I can’t expect you to stay…’ I almost sayfaithful, but it feels too real, too relationship-y. Much safer to say, ‘committed indefinitely.’
‘That cuts both ways.’
‘It does, but…’ I scratch the skin behind my ear, nerves kicking up like static underneath. ‘We should have a date in mind, a point where we reassess. If it’s not working, if we need tests, or?—’
He shakes his head. ‘A deadline helps no one.’
‘Then regular check-ins,’ I counter. ‘Like any other joint project.’
‘Regular checkpoints?’ His mouth curls. ‘I can hardly wait.’
‘I’m serious.’
‘Oh, I know.’
‘So, quarterly?’
He takes a slow sip of his drink, dark eyes fixed on mine.
‘Unless you’d rather talk every time we have sex,’ I add, undeterred, ‘and risk violating your no-post-coital-chat rule?’
‘How about we just agree to be straight with each other, Stone? You’ve got something to say, you say it.’
‘You too, Ax. This has to be about you as well.’
‘I don’t need no checkpoint to speak my mind.’ His voice drops. ‘Or don’t you know me at all?’
