‘Meek?!’ I choke out.
‘Yeah…’ She nods solemnly. ‘Shocker, right?’
‘I’m not meek. I’m… distracted.’
‘By?’
I lick my lips and glance out of the window, at all the people wandering by, going about their morning. I wonder how many ofthem are going through the same. How many of them are blessed to have babies on the way. How many of them gave up trying.
I’ve been doing a lot of wondering lately. Wondering, obsessing, spiralling…
‘Taylor.’ Her tone sharpens. ‘I swear if you don’t start talking, I will personally hunt Axel down, and I’m not above getting Lottie to sit on him untilhecracks.’
Another laugh slips free. Sadie was always good at this: injecting humour into a tense situation. Or she was, before her ex killed her spirit. I love that she’s got that gift back now, even if it means I’m at the brunt of it.
‘Talk to me, sis, please.’
And so I do. I tell her everything: how it started, how it went, how it is right now.
Her eyes soften with the tale. ‘My God, Tay, I had no idea… I mean, I should have – the way you looked after me growing up, the way you are with Lottie. But I always thought… Hell, I feared I’d put you off motherhood for life. Put you off relationships, full stop. I was so bloody happy when you and Ax got together. Seeing you settled and all loved-up…’
‘I admit, I didn’t want any of it. I never trusted love to stick. I didn’t want the responsibility of… more.’ I sigh, the truth spilling easier than I expected. ‘I was happy building my empire. Chasing the stability I craved for us growing up. Making sure we’d never have to worry about money again. I thought it was all I needed… but seeing you and Theo, seeing Lottie… it kickstarted this ache nothing else could touch.’
‘And so, a baby?’
‘Yeah. My own child to love. To raise.’
‘But then you fell in love with the man who agreed to give you one.’
I smile and it’s so warm and real as I think of him. ‘Yes.’
‘Got more than you bargained for there, didn’t you?’ She squeezes my hand gently. ‘But he’s got you, Tay. He loves you, and youwillget through this. Whatever those results say, you’ll face it together.’
She’s right. I know she is. But…
‘You just need to be patient, sis. Give it time.’
Time?
‘Time is the one thing I don’t have.’
‘You’re thirty-eight – hardly ancient!’
‘Easy for you to say; you’re twenty-six, your egg reserves aren’t dwindling.’
I look down at her tiny bump, and she instinctively covers it with her palm, her face crumpling. ‘God, Tay, I’m so sorry. Christmas Day— Theo’s surprise— I must have?—’
I squeeze her hand hard, cutting that off immediately. ‘Oh no you don’t. I’m happy for you. For you, Theo, and Lottie. That baby’s in for the best life ever.’
Tears fill her smile. ‘And they have the best aunt ever, sis. And you’ll make the best mum. I know it in my bones. It’ll happen, one way or another. There are always options.’
I nod.
She’s right. Again.
There’s more than one way to become a mum. And even if the path isn’t what I pictured, that doesn’t make it any less right.
If Axel has taught me anything, it’s that life loves to throw the unexpected at you. And somehow, it becomes exactly what you never knew you needed.
