Emphasison the fun.
‘I take it from the look on your face, it’s going great guns.’
She ribs me in the side and my grin widens.
‘You could say that.’
And for the next three hours, I dish out just enough to keep her sweet without giving Ax a reason to die of mortification when she brings it up at dinner later. It’s inevitable. My sister can’t help herself. She’s found her voice again and she’s not afraid to use it.
Which I love her for, dearly, but there are times… like now, as we unload the bags from the boot of her SUV, that I wish she’d zip it.
‘Have you told him you love him yet?’
My eyes shoot to the wreath-clad door of my sister’s newly renovated Mayfair townhouse, half-expecting Axel to burst out and sprint down the street.
‘I told you, it’s not that easy. He has a… complicated relationship with love.’
‘Ha! Don’t we all.’
‘This is different.’
‘Tay, you were the queen of no-strings fun, and Axel was king. Feels like you were destined to find it together. Love, that is. Though I guess you’re getting a whole lot of fun too.’
She nudges me in the side again, and I almost drop the bag of bottles I’m tugging over one shoulder.
‘Can you quit it with the ribbing? I’m going to have bruises.’
‘At least they’re the kind you can hide.’
Her gaze drops to my shoulder, and I realise the weight of the wine has dragged my cashmere sweater to the side, unveiling the faint mark of Ax and our fierce goodbye session earlier in the week. I tug it back in place, but the damage is done.
‘He knows it’s not all about the sex for you though, right?’
I’m not sure what’s worse: Sadie’s ribbing or the quiet concern she’s now giving off.
My cheeks flush with colour. I’m not embarrassed talking sex with my little sister; I’m feeling guilty. Guilty for keeping the baby plan a secret.
‘It’s complicated,’ I say, falling back on my favourite word of the moment. ‘I can’t just blurt it out. Ax isn’t the type to just accept it. He’s never had anyone in his life who’s given him affection and?—’
‘He’s had you and Theo for forever.’
‘And that’s?—’
‘Different, I know. But doesn’t that make you the perfect person to love him now, to show him he’s worth it?’ She leans into the boot, voice muffled by the bags as she keeps going. ‘Theo told me about his parents. How cruel and cold they were. It must’ve been hell growing up like that, with no sisters or brothers either.’ She straightens, hugging a giant stuffed gnome to her chest as her eyes meet mine, their sudden sheen catching the glow from the overhead streetlamp. ‘It breaks my heart thinking of what he lived through. How unloved and alone he must have felt.’
‘Yeah, well, if it weren’t for you coming into my life, we might’ve felt the same.’
She tilts her head, smiling softly. ‘I guess we kind of saved each other. Though you did most of the saving, I was the burden.’
‘Oi!’ I drop the bags and pull her into my arms, gnome too. ‘You werenevera burden.’
‘Liar.’
‘Okay, so youwerea burden: an adorable, chip-loving, dino-obsessed burden. But I loved you from the second you were dropped on our doorstep, and I’m forever grateful you came into my life. Don’t you ever doubt it.’
‘I don’t. Not any more.’ She chokes on a teary laugh. ‘And I love you too, sis.’
‘You better,’ I tease, kissing her forehead before I let her go.
