“She could have died!” Alaric’s voice broke.
“So could any of us. Life is dangerous, Deverell.” Frederick shrugged.
“You think I do not know that? Of course I do. But that does not mean we should court it at every opportunity.” Alaric growled. “Besides, this was always the plan. She would have her life, and I would have mine.”
“Plans change. Especially when they are stupid.” Frederick perched on the edge of the armchair, his arms folded over his chest, one eyebrow arched.
“This is not. It is just common sense.” Alaric began to pace again.
“Oh yes, perfect sense. Silly me, it is the most rational thing in the world to make yourself so miserable that you spend your days drinking whiskey and not shaving or bathing or even eating.” Sarcasm dripped from Frederick’s every word.
Alaric dug his nails even deeper into the soft flesh of his palm, the pain grounding him as he tried not to grind his teeth to dust. “I am trying to protect her.”
“I think you are afraid.” Frederick tilted his chin up toward him, and Alaric snapped, rounding on him with all the force of a tiger, grabbing him by the shirt as he roared.
“Of course, I am afraid. I amterrified. The thought of losing her makes my blood turn to ice. The thought of a world without her feels like a world without sunlight. It is like losing the air, the sky, the stars.”
“Then why the hell did you let her go? Why did you chase her from your side?” Frederick poked a finger hard into Alaric’s chest.
“Because I cannot think when she is near. She undoes me. And that is dangerous. Without order, there is chaos, and when thereis chaos, people get hurt.” He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat as he put Frederick back on the ground. “I lose control just thinking of her, let alone when she is near. She is better off without me. I cannot be trusted, not with her.”
There were several beats of silence while Frederick adjusted his rumpled shirt. Shame washed over Alaric in waves, but before he could apologize, Frederick spoke, his voice soft. “Deverell, your father was an unkind, cruel, and dastardly man. He thought he knew better than everyone else around him, and did not care what anyone else thought.”
“Leave me alone, Hale,” Alaric croaked.
“No, not until you hear what I am saying. Not until you are honest with me, with yourself, and with her.” Frederick looked him in the eye. “What do you want, Alaric? Tell me the truth.”
Alaric hesitated. “I want her, but– ”
“No ‘buts’ Deverell. You want her. And she deserves to know that. How can you expect her to make a choice if she does not have all the information?” Frederick interrupted.
“I do not want her to feel beholden to me. To simply come with me because I… Because I…” He could not make himself say the words, not here, not like this, but he knew that he wanted to.
I love her.
The thought seared through him like a lightning bolt. He loved her. He wanted her, not because he was an animal or out of obligation, but because she was the person his heart longed for.
“Do you trust her?”
“With my life.”
“Then trust her to say ‘no’.” Frederick clapped a hand on his shoulder. “If you do not ask her, then you will be just like your father. That is not who you are. You are a better, braver man than that. So give your wife the choice.”
Alaric swallowed. “Thank you, Hale.”
“That is what friends are for. We tell each other when we are being idiots, and you, Deverell—” Frederick’s words were cut off as Alaric finished his sentence for him.
“I have been the high king of all idiots?” Alaric laughed and shook his head.
“Yes.” Frederick joined the laughter. “Now, what are you going to do?”
“I am going to tell my wife the truth. And I am going to beg for her forgiveness, and pray that I am not too late. I am going to give her the choice I was too afraid to offer, and the choice that should always have been hers.”
“Excellent.” Frederick embraced him. “Though I suggest you shave before you go. I suspect you might give her a fright in your current state.”
“I can shave at the inn.” Alaric ran a hand through his hair. “It will take me two days to get to London, and I have wasted enough time already.”
“Go get her then.” Frederick smiled.
