I breathe her all the way to the base of my lungs. I’d rather hold my breath and die than exhale and lose her.
“You were here.” She wraps her palms around my wrists and attempts to push down. “You jumped in with me for a moment. But then you stopped again.”
“I’m trying to be a gentleman.” I search for nonchalance. For an easy smile, lest I admit I’m her worst fucking enemy. Then I lean in and slide my tongue along her lips. I allow this, at least. To taste her. To latch on in the dark and secret away a moment only we know about.
A thief will always be a thief. A liar will always lie.
What’s another ten seconds hidden amongst trees and beautiful mountains?
We’re just a man and a woman. Two humans inexplicably attracted to one another. If it were a different time, a different place, we might even get to be each other’severything.
Someday, when this mission is complete and I’m out of her life, I’ll think back to tonight, to this moment, and know I did the right thing by letting go.
But fuck, I’ve never wanted so badly to do the wrong thing.
“Lifting your dress in public is not gentlemanly.” I draw herlips between my teeth and tuck her desperate whimper away for later. For when I’m all alone and so fucking needy for more time with the one woman I can’t have. “If we stay up here and your tongue remains in my mouth, I’m gonna want to do wildly inappropriate things to you. And though I know we’d both enjoy it—” I search her glossy eyes. “There’s a line one shouldn’t cross, and I think that line was,” I hook a thumb over my shoulder, “back there.”
“Fun police.” She lowers to flat feet and leans into me, pressing her forehead against my chest. “Will youalwaysbe the voice of reason? Because honestly? Dating horny white men who don’t care about me is immensely more gratifying in the short-term than dating someone’s big brother. You already have so much experience stopping a girl from doing what she wants.”
“We can have fun another day.” Fuck me, my voice cracks in ways it hasn’t done since I was a nervous teenager. “Once you’ve had time to process. Once you’ve decided this is what youactuallywant, and not a result of that trauma bond we were talking about.”
“Therapy speak isnotsexy,” she harrumphs. “And just so you know, I intend to call you the guy who couldn’t close, even when I was willing. Like the small-penis guy.” Stepping away, she glances over her shoulder with a devious smile. “The next guy I flirt with will know about you and Justin. You’ll be legends.”
“Fan-fucking-tastic.” I snatch her wrist and yank her back, draping my arm over her shoulders and smothering her in a hug, if only to silence her taunting laughter. “I’m out here trying to be decent. And for my troubles, I’m immortalized alongside the micro-dick.”
“Maybe next time you’ll close.” Wriggling out of my grip and tangling her fingers with mine, she starts us back down the bridge, swinging our arms like this is nothing more than a leisurely walk. “You’re a good kisser, though.” She peeks up from the corners of her eyes. “Talented with your tongue.”
“Yeah?” My cock hasn’t been this fucking hard, this unsatisfied, since tenth grade. And I was trying to be a gentleman back then, too. “You wish you knew what I could do with it.”
“Maybe next time,” she taunts, spinning and wrapping herself in my arm around her neck. “I had a nice date, though. Thanks for dinner.”
16
NOVA
HOLD THE LINE
“He’s been hanging around a lot lately, huh?” Alicia sneaks into my office two days after dinner at La Tavola, checking left and right, like she’s a spy and this is a top-secret mission that could end with gunfire or torture. Closing my door in the same moment Lincoln Castro stepsoutof the bank, she dashes across my rug and plops onto the visitor’s chair, her eyes alight with playfulness. “He’s been in here almost every day this week!”
“He applied for a home loan, but he’s new to townandthe bank.” I sit back and fold one leg over the other.Be cool, Nova. Relax. Your heart absolutely doesnotflutter when you think of him. “He’s had to jump through more hoops than our regular customers.”
“Uh-huh. Sure. But customers don’t look at the loan officer the way he looks at you. He wants more than a mortgage, Nov. He wants to eat you for dinner.”
“Actually, no.” I choke out a soft laugh, dragging the chainfrom beneath my blouse and sliding my thumbnail along each rhythmic bump. “My real-life experience says hedoesn’t. We went out for dinner a couple of nights ago, and I assure you, despite my shameless offering, he didn’t bite—literally or figuratively.”
“You went on a date?” She surges forward and grips the edge of my desk. “Like,outout? For a meal and stuff?”
“I mean, I ordered the chicken and white wine pasta.”Goddddd. My stomach twists every single time I think of his rejection. Even knowing his reasons, even understanding them, won’t remove the sharp ache between my ribs. “He ordered pasta, too. Then we got ice cream and made out a little.”
“You made out?!” She squeezes the mahogany until her knuckles turn white. “Nova Nichols! And you didn’t tell me?”
We’re notcalling each other sweetiefriends, and we’re notgossiping about our dating lifefriends, either. Instead, I glance toward my computer screen and the emails slipping into my inbox faster than I can keep up.
“He’s renting Mr. Carnagy’s house, which is?—”
“Practically your next-door neighbor! Oh man, you’re living out a real-life romance, and you saidnothing? He seems nice, though.” She clears her throat, bringing her volume down and sitting back to reclaim a modicum of professionalism.Playing it cool. “Truly. He’s pretty quiet, so far as I’ve seen. But he’s always been polite. Holding doors for other customers if they’re coming through. Never wears a hat inside and takes off his sunglasses. And I heard Sally talking about him a few days ago.”
“Sally? From the grocery store?”
