“Would you green light you?” She unravels her arms from mine and wanders along the footbridge on her own, trekking to the highest point and trailing her fingertips over the shiny black handrail. Turning back, she creates a stunning vision, her dress fluttering in the breeze and loose locks of hair tickling her bare shoulders. “If you were researching someone withyourexact details—age, job, history, bank balance. If Scarlett were looking to date someone like you, would you be okay with that?”
“No.”Fuck. Shut up! Shut the fuck up, Castro. I set my hands in my pockets and mosey up the bridge, slowing only when her perfume fills my lungs, and stopping when she’s forced to bend her neck to meet my eyes. “No, I wouldn’t approve of me for you or her or anyone else. And if we’re beingtrulyhonest, if Ryan knew I was here, if he knew I dream of you… that I think of you when we’re not in the same room…”God, why won’t you shut up? “If he knew my lungs hurt unless the oxygen I breathe was onceyours, he’d end my life long before I got close enough to touch.”
Her smile lowers into a gentle pout. Her soft exhale, bathing my chin and daring me to lean in and taste it firsthand.
“We could have been friends, Nova. We have a few things in common, and fuck knows, he might’ve thought I was a trustworthy guy to go to war with. We probably would’ve enjoyed a beer and talked about life together. But any man who loves his sister wouldn’t be okay with this.” I slide my hand along the uninjured side of her neck and down to rest over her chest.
Over her pounding heart.
“I’mnot okay with this. I didn’t come to town intending to develop feelings for you. But here we are anyway, standing under the stars, hidden amongst trees so it feels like we’re the only two people on the planet. And goddammit, Nova Nichols, all I want to do is lean in and kiss you.”
She drags her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes flickering with wariness. Surprise. Fear, perhaps, but with desire too. She swallows, so the slow slide of her throat is a physical vibration beneath my palm.
Walk away, Lincoln!
“It feels wrong to want you,” I rasp. “I didn’t earn you. I sure as fuck am not worthy. But more importantly, you don’t deserve what I represent. You did nothing to warrant this kind of punishment.”
“You think knowing you is a punishment?” She runs her tongue along her lips so they glisten under starlight. “You think your existence is a bad thing?”
“Yes.” For this, at least, I can speak the complete truth. “Maybe it seems fun for now, because we’re new, and flirting isexciting. You need a distraction, and I’m the perfect guy for that. But eventually, you’ll see the bigger picture. That’s when you’ll understand.”
“What if I only want to seethispicture for now?” She wraps her arms over my shoulders, curling her hands in and brushing the tips of her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.
Her touch is like electricity in my veins. Her stroking fingers are as comforting as sliding into a warm bath.
“What if I’m just so,sosick of the bigger picture?” she whispers. “My life has always been about the things everyone else understands, but I’m always left searching for sense. Like the world is an abstract painting of squiggly lines and splotches of color.”
“Nova—”
“Ya know, when you’re staring so hard, for so long, trying with everything in you to understand? But eventually, you’re forced to admit your vision is no better, and now you have a pounding headache, too.”
Her eyes flicker with gold and brown. Blue and green. So many flecks. So much of her soul, all wrapped up in two beautiful orbs.
She’smyabstract painting. She’s a million secrets and torments, promises and possibilities. She’s someone I had no clue existed a mere few weeks ago. Now, I’m not sure I’ll ever forget her, no matter how many years or jobs or people come between us.
She’s a picture I want so badly to understand, but for as long as I’m me and she’s Nova—and Ryan is dead, and Richard is looking for a hidden key—all she can be is squiggly lines and penance for the crimes I’ve committed.
“I have a headache, Lincoln.” Her furrowed brows create uneven lines between her eyes. “I’ve been staring my entire life, but nothing has ever truly made sense. They sheltered me and promised everything would always be okay.” Stepping onto her toes and using me to pull herself closer, she stops just two inches from my lips. “I’m sick of trying to un-blur and understand everything out there when, as far as I’m concerned, I kinda like what I see right here in front of me.”
“Nova—”
She pulls herself another inch closer. “Stop worrying about later. Stop worrying about everyone else. Why won’t you just kiss me?”
“Fuck.” I wrap my arms around her torso, crushing her ribs and securing her against my chest. Her breath feathers across my tongue. Her lips, a hairsbreadth from mine. “You’re tempting the devil, Nova, and I’m not man enough to stop you.”
She brushes her lips over mine. Testing, but chaste. Breathy, but unsure. “You’re supposed to kiss me at the end of our first date.” She sighs and comes in for a second taste, her lashes fluttering closed and tickling my skin. “Be the devil if you must. He’s who I agreed to come out with tonight.”
Fuck it.
I dive in and open her wide with a hungry swipe of my tongue, groaning when she cries out, and biting when she grabs on and climbs an inch off the ground. I memorize her body under my palms. Over her hips and down to her luscious ass. I want to lift her up and claim her for myself, to take her here. To take her home. To own her for the rest of my godforsaken life, and protect her from the very monster Aster hired me to be. But doing so would be wrong. For as long as she’s blind to mytrue motive for being in Mount Gaines, every fucking touch, every taste, every look I covet is a sin.
Someday, when all this shakes out, and she knows better, she’ll realize she was tricked.
So I bring my hands up again, setting them carefully on her ribs.
I don’t deserve more.
“You pulled away.” She breaks our kiss with a gasp, only to dive in again and nip at my lips. Biting them. Tasting. Panting.
