They're fuller than a Cerastean male's would be. Plush and pink, slightly parted. The lower one is plumper than the upper. The reports I read never mentioned how inviting human lips could look.
I want to know what those lips feel like. I wonder if they're as soft as they look. What they taste like. I want?—
"Oh my god," Chelsea sighs from the sofa, "I love that ending. Gets me every time."
The words shatter the moment like a stone dropped into still water.
I become suddenly, acutely aware of the room around me. Of the other people present, humans and Cerasteans alike. Of L'Zaen and D'Rett and L'Tarne and all their enhanced Cerastean senses.
If I can smell Cody's arousal, they can certainly smell his. And mine…
I am in a room full of people who know exactly what I'm feeling. Who can read my attraction in the air itself.
Heat floods my face, and I know my scales must be darkening toward amber. I realize I've been leaning toward Cody. Our faces are far closer than they were at the start of the film. When did that happen? How did I not notice?
I pull back sharply. Clear my throat.
"A satisfactory film," I manage, and my voice sounds strange to my own ears. Too stilted and careful. "Thank you for the cultural education."
The lights are coming up now, and people are stretching, murmuring to each other about the movie. I should contribute. Say something normal and unremarkable. But I can't seem to focus on anything except the heat still radiating from Cody's body, the lingering scent of him in the air, the memory of his eyes fixed on my mouth.
I don't know how much time passes. The conversation washes over me in meaningless waves. I know that Chelsea asks if I enjoyed the film; D'Rett wants to know why no one arrested the babysitter for distributing inappropriate images to a child; Ally sighs and admits that part didn't age well; L'Zaen pullsAlly into an embrace and mentions that they should all get rest before tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
Right. Tomorrow we arrive at Ceraste. Where I will have to face the ruins of my homeworld. Tomorrow everything changes.
But all I can think about is the shape of Cody's lips.
"I should retire," I announce, rising too quickly. The movement is graceless. My behavior is unbecoming, as my mother would have said, but I don't care. I need to leave this room. I need air that doesn't smell like desire. I need space to think without Cody's presence scrambling my thoughts like static on a broken comm.
"Good night," I add, already moving toward the door. "Sleep well, everyone."
I don't wait for responses. I simply leave, walking as quickly as my dignity allows.
The corridor is blessedly empty. I press my palm to my sternum and wait for my pulse to settle. The cool recycled air helps, washing away the complicated scents of the common room.
What is wrong with me?
I've always prided myself on my control. On my ability to master my emotions, to present a composed exterior no matter what chaos churned beneath. It's how I survived captivity. How I endured the unendurable.
And now a single human male with soft eyes and a ridiculous smile is dismantling my composure piece by piece.
I'm nearly to my quarters when I hear footsteps behind me.
"A'Vanti, wait."
Cody. Of course.
I stop but don't turn. "Yes?"
He catches up to me, slightly breathless. When I finally make myself look at him, his expression is concerned. His brow is furrowed, and his eyes search my face.
"Are you okay?" he asks. "Is it… are you worried about tomorrow? About arriving?"
Tomorrow. A convenient excuse.
"Yes, it's much to think ab—" I start to say.
