“You’re good at this, Cassie. I never would have guessed you didn’t have any formal education.”
She stared at him, her expression hard to read through his eyestones. L-I-K-L-E-R-N-I-N-G-N-E-W-T-H-I-N-G-S. He watched her hands after she finished scrawling out the letters. There was an addition to her statement that he couldn’t read. He’d keep watching. Her hand signs were fascinating. Certainly not a registered manual language, but likely a pidgin invented by the residents of the Aviary.
After they’d exhausted both of their patience writing and rewriting the same words again and again, Örim found himself itching to pull out the ultrasound wand. But he felt like hehad to at least ask about her comfort levels. Research protocols aside, someone like Cassie had clearly been afforded far too little autonomy in her life.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Örim said as he put the ultrasound on the worktable between them. “However, an ultrasound has negligible risk factors.”
Cassie tilted her head to one side, revealing a better angle for him to see the voicelock implant. “It would be my pleasure!” she exclaimed with a straight face, and Örim realized that aside from the physical examination, he should compile a complete list of everything she was actually able to say with the voicelock in place. It would give him a better sense of her working parameters.
It also gave him a cratering feeling about how she was almost set up to be misunderstood in the wrong circumstances. He started with the ultrasound wand pressed against her neck. The interface showed a grim picture. The device wasn’t a surface level install. It was completely embedded inside of her vocal cords. There was likely no way to remove it without causing substantial, irreversible damage. Örim suspected that was the point.
“I don’t think this can come out, Cassie.”
She made a hand sign he didn’t recognize, and then just shook her head. “I don’t think I can help you with that. I sincerely apologize.” Her gaze flickered away from him.
“But I think I can at least disable it. I don’t know if that’s better or worse, but then maybe it could be reprogrammed with things you actually wanted to say?” It was a long shot. He’d have to do a deeper dive into the technology to see if it was even possible, but it seemed like a more probable solution than promising Cassie a jar of lightning.
“Will you let me try?”
“I’m so grateful!” It was her favorite exclamation, but he interpreted it as enthusiastic consent. Maybe they would both get what they wanted out of this after all.
CHAPTER 13
Cassie
I hate you.Rhea threw a pillow at Cassie’s head. They only ever had soft things in the Aviary. Soft foods, soft clothes, soft sounds. But the gesture stung all the same.
I’m sorry, Rhea. I tried to get you called in sick, but the Aviarist wouldn’t hear of it. Prima Erum is an important client. She asked for you by name.Cassie hid her arm behind her back, the one where the Aviarist had left fingerprints hard enough to bruise. She wouldn’t make Rhea feel worse by letting her see.
You’re just as bad as him. You and Kestrel and Cardinal and all the other flock leaders. You bow at his feet. We are more than him. If we just fought back.Rhea threw her hands up in frustration.Why won’t you fight back, Cassie?
Because I know what happened to Canary, Robin, and Dove.
Örim had found out about the Aviary. That must have been what he and S’samph were talking about when she was playing with the younglings. Probably also what had inspired him to find the picture of Rhea with some of the other younglings. Cassie couldn’t blame him for being curious. Now she was out in the real world, she realized just what a curiosity she was in the wider universe. But the thought of people knowing about her past made her furious. Not with him. Furious with herself. Furious with what had happened to her without her knowledge or consent.
Her nails dug deep grooves into her forearms as she tried to bring herself back from the faraway place. Everything was splotchy gray and red. It was hard to stop. Sometimes the bite of nails into skin was the only thing that helped her remember her heart was still beating.
Still in her pajamas, she laced up her boots and made her way out of the clinic and into the cool early morning air. She couldn’t stay in her room another moment without feeling like she wanted to peel her skin from her bones.
Cassie made her way down to the docks and was surprised to find someone sitting there with her feet in the water. Eleri. She was about to try and make a stealthy retreat when the older woman turned to acknowledge her.
“I can’t sleep either. Do you want to come join me?” Eleri patted the seat next to her on the edge of the dock. Cassie took a few reluctant steps toward her and then sat several paces away with her knees tucked to her chest.
“How can I help you today?” Cassie asked in a quiet voice. Eleri offered her a sad smile.
“Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you here? I know you must miss your friends. I can’t imagine how difficult it is without anyone else who’s fluent in your hand signs.”
Cassie shook her head. “Can I help you with something else?”
Eleri looked down at the lavender water in the canal and splashed her feet a few times. “I know you’ve been going down to training with S’samph and the others. Hopefully, he’s not giving you too hard a time. If he is, let me know, and I’ll tell him to back off.”
This made Cassie snort. S’samph gave everyone a hard time, even his mate. All the members of the patrol snickered about his demeanor behind his back, but it was all in good fun. He was a good mentor, and everyone respected his love for Eleri.
Eleri leaned back to stare up at the early morning sky. “Can I tell you something? I think you might be able to relate.” She paused to brush her short bangs out of her face. “I also had a hard time when I first came to Laurus. My family life wasn’t good where I grew up on Gaia. My brother was… is an iridescence addict.” She lifted her feet out of the canal and tapped her heels on a towel she pulled out from her bag. “He was always violent and irrational when he went on a memory bender.”
The sun made it hard to see Eleri’s expression, but Cassie could hear the bitterness in her voice. She didn’t need specifics to understand what Eleri’s brother had been like. There were any number of clients who had acted the same. She tried to think of a phrase to adequately express her feelings about Eleri’s situation.
“I don’t think I can help you with that. I sincerely apologize.” It wasn’t quite the right thing, but it was the best she had.
