That just makes me sob harder.I start walking as fast as I can toward the big tree around the corner from the main house.No one ever goes there but me, so I shouldn’t be seen by anyone.“It’s not you,” I squeeze out.“It’s not.”
It takes a minute, and boy, Jack’s spun out, but I finally manage to tell him that my two best friends, the friends I followed here, are being weird.They’re closer to each other than they are to me, and it hurts seeing it.
“You have to talk to them about it,” he says.“I’ve seen them around you, and they love you.It’s plain as day.”
“Jack, have you met me?”
“I know you’re not confrontational.You’re a pleaser, and you’d do anything, suffer through anything, to make other people happy.Vanessa, that was one of the first things I noticed about you.You care more than anyone, but that means you get hurt more than most people from small slights.If you just tell them, I’m sure they’ll do better.I promise they don’t want you feeling left out.I’m not a genius, and I’m a man, but even I can tell they love you.”
It’s what I needed to hear, that they do care about me, but he’s also proposing the impossible, for me to tell them all my fears.“There has to be some other way.Maybe I could...”
“You could tell them in person, or you could write them an email or even a letter, but you have to tell them somehow.”
I can’t get off the phone with him until I’ve promised that I will.
Even though I know that’s a lie.And the way I know is that his mom has hated me for weeks now, and I’ve never said a word—not to him, and certainly not to her.It’s just not who I am.
If I’ve learned anything from my forty years on earth, it’s that there are some things you just can’t change in the world and about yourself, no matter how much you want to change them.
Jack comes over later, and I almost forget about my distress.Being around him makes things better.It calms me down.It centers me.It’s getting late though, and our movie’s about to end when I get a text message.
This is Nora, Jack Shanahan’s mother.He gave me your number.The Ballyrafter House is offering afternoon tea for the holidays, and I thought you might like to meet me tomorrow.
Her text reads like an email.
Jack shifts, half-lifting his head to try and read over my shoulder.
I snatch the phone back, pressing it against my shoulder.“That’s rude.”I glare.“Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?”
“Sorry.”He frowns.“But is everything alright?It’s pretty late for someone to text you.”
He’s right.Trina’s in bed.The boys should be soon.Jack should be headed home.“Who has your kids right now?”
“They’re staying the night with my mom.”He smiles.“Why?”
“And I’m guessing you told herwhy.”I roll my eyes.“Your mother just texted me.”I flip the phone around and show him.“It sounds like she’s arranging a business dinner.”
“That’s not good.”Jack frowns.
“Does your mom hate me?”I wonder whether he knows.
“I’m sorry I didn’t officially introduce you today.I hope it wasn’t awkward for me to send you over with the kids, but she doesn’t hate you.”His eyebrows shoot upward.“Not at all, but she’s intense, and she’s aggressive sometimes, and she and my father worried about me alotwith all the Sloane stuff.It was almost as hard on them as it was on me.”
“I can imagine.”And I actually can.Maybe his mom just loves him a great deal and is super protective.Once I win her over, perhaps she’ll be like that with me, too.
“Just ignore it.I’ll call her tomorrow and tell her we already had plans.”
“But we don’t have plans,” I say.
He chuckles.“As far as I’m concerned, Ialwayshave plans with my girlfriend.”He shifts me closer, so my back rests against his chest.“Being with you makes me happy, so whenever I’m not busy, that’s where I want to be.”
I feel the same way, mostly.But right now, I’m too nervous to enjoy it.“I think I should meet her.”
“Or, I can push my mom off again, and you can talk to your?—”
“Wait, did you sayagain?”I twist around to stare at his face.
He definitely looks guilty.“Well, she’s asked a few times to get together with you, and I didn’t—she didn’t actually get the number from me.Well, she did, but not voluntarily.”
