“Some kind of mutt really, since they have no idea who the father was, but the mother’s a pedigreed border collie.”
I want to cry.“They’re...”I sigh.“Can it go back?”
“Go back?”Now he looks distraught.“I’ve had it here for almost a week.Look what a sweet little guy he is.”
I’m going to kill him.“Cillian.”
His eyes brighten.“Yes?”He steps closer and shoves it into my arms.“Look how fun he is.I’m sure you’ll love him.And your kids and I can bond over him.”
“When I said I wanted you to?—”
“To be part of their life, to bond with the kids, to connect with them.I was listening.”He nods.“And your ex got them a pig, so I figured a dog could be my thing.”
I look around his apartment, which was previously eclipsed by the news of the puppy.It’s all black and white, with pristine floors and polished counters.It looks expensive and severe.
And like the quintessential bachelor pad.
“Are you planning to keep this guy here?”
“God, no,” he says.“All he does is poop and pee and shred things.”He sighs.“In fact, if you want to give him to them early, we could do it today.I could go with you right now.”
I stare at him.
“No?”He shrugs.“I can handle him for another day or two.That’s fine, too.”
“Cillian.”I can hardly believe I’m saying this.“This isn’t working.”
“The dog?”His whole face falls.“I’m sorry.I should have checked with you, but I thought I’d surprise you too.I really thought you’d like him.”
I shake my head.“No, not the dog, though, that’s kind of the illuminating factor.”
“Then what?”
“Your life and mine...”I shake my head.“We’re way too different.You live in the center of this pristine island, in this life that’s clean and shiny and perfect.It’s untouched by chaos and you do what you want when you want to do it, always.I live on a houseboat full of wild animals.”
“That’s why I thought you’d like the dog.”
“I’m barely hanging on right now,” I snap.“My kids don’t see enough of me, and I’m falling apart trying to make time for you, and them, and the business.”I inhale and exhale.“I need someone who can fit into the chaos, not someone I have to carve out special time for.I definitely can’t be with someone who thinks adding another enormous responsibility to my plate is a good idea without even asking me whether I can handle it.”
His eyes are wide.“Wait, are you dumping me?”
I snort.“Yes, Cillian.I am.”
“It’s Christmas Evetomorrow.”
“You do know the date,” I say.“And now, you don’t have a date.”
I surprise myself by taking the dog when I leave.
Part of me hopes he’ll rush after me, begging me to stay and keep trying.Or offering to join me on my houseboat, wild chaos and all.
But he doesn’t.
I imagine he’s just relieved I took the dog.
26
Samantha
