But Ronan had nothing left when he stood on that cliff. He had no siblings; both of his parents were gone. I have people Istill care about despite everything terrible they’ve done, people who will die if I give them up. If I can’t find a way to stop them.
I want to be with Ronan, too. I know it, as much as it terrifies me to admit it. But I need to take some time to think, to find a way to have both him and my family.
“Will you keep her?” I ask him as we dismount on his balcony.
“If she’ll let me,” he says, and I wonder if he’s talking about the griffin.
In the morning, Adria wakes me early to hear what happened during the hunt. Apparently, our change of plans regarding the griffin caused quite a controversy.
“I thought Cornelius was going to shoot one of us instead,” she says. “You know him. Big guy from House Gallus.”
I shake my head.
“With the weird little beard?”
“Oh, sure,” I say. I know exactly who she’s talking about now. “What did he do?”
“He tried to snap his bow in half, but it didn’t break. So he threw it down and stomped on it. You should have seen it. A full-blown tantrum.”
Another enemy made. Ronan has a talent for it, that’s for sure.
Speaking of enemies, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask her. “Hey, have you seen Hermes around? I’ve had this headache that keeps coming back. I wanted to ask him about an elixir.”
The lie comes to my lips so easily, I wonder if there is something to my shadow-born nature. Maybe the reality is thatI’m quite good at lying, even lying not by omission, when I feel justified in doing so.
“No, I haven’t seen him in a while, actually. He’s barely been around since we got here.”
I take it from her casual tone that she doesn’t know what Hermes is involved with. Or she’s lying to me about it, which is always a possibility around here.
I don’t tell her about our theory that he’s somehow involved with the missing shadow-born. She’s never brought it up again after that time in the arena, and I no longer trust her enough to risk exposing something to her that could help her, if she is involved in some way.
I part with her on the way to breakfast, taking a detour to the bathing caves. By the time I arrive in the dining hall after my bath, she’s already on her way out with Titus of all people following behind her.
I should have warned him about her. Gods, she’ll eat him alive.
I meet Ronan’s eyes the moment I walk in the room, and it sends my pulse racing again. He has such an effect on me even from such a great distance. I look at him for a long moment, and then I take a seat at my usual table.
He goes back to his conversation with Cyrus, and I turn to my plate, trying not to look up again.
“He’s gone and fucked it, hasn’t he?” Quinn saunters over with a steaming mug in hand. She takes a seat beside me without invitation and puts her hand on my shoulder.
“No, I—I don’t know what you—”
“Oh, yeah, I thought so. He’s been moping around all morning. What did he do? One near-death experience too many?”
“No,” I say. “I actually enjoyed the griffin ride.”
She nods in appreciation. “A bit of a thrill-seeker, are you? I like that. I’m really jealous, actually. We saw you from the ground. It pissed a lot of people off, but it looked like it was worth it.”
“It was,” I say. I’m not sure how much or what to say to Quinn about what happened with Ronan. We aren’t friends, and he told me she doesn’t know the truth of what happened.
But without Larus around, it would be nice to havesomeoneto talk to, even just a little.
“Did he confess his undying love or something? Too much too fast?”
I nearly spit out the grapefruit I’m chewing. “Does he do that often?”
“Hardly,” she says with a snort. “He never lets anyone get this close. It’s probably the only reason why he’s still alive. But it seems like the kind of thing he might do with you.”
