I was expecting her to say something profound, so when she finishes the sentence, a snort bursts out of me, drawing laughter from Carys. I cover my mouth, embarrassed by what was no doubt the most unladylike sound ever.
Carys continues, unbothered. “Have youseenthat man? Those blue eyes, that jawline, the blond hair, and all those rippling muscles.” She tilts her head back against the door and laughs. I can’t resist smiling at the sight.
The sorrow is hidden for now, replaced with joviality that warms me all over. I have a sense of having helped her. That I’ve made the tiniest difference in someone’s life—or day, at least.
“So, what about you, Durvla?”
I frown. “Whatabout me?”
“Do you have anyone you’re fond of? A certain broody guard perhaps?”
Not her too… “No,” I say far too quickly.
Her eyes sparkle. “Iknew it!”
“No, no, I?—”
A series of knocks reverberate through the door behind us, and I all but jump out of my skin.
Carys huffs out a harsh breath. “Magdin’s tits! Keep your knickers on!” She gets to her feet—I follow far less gracefully—and yanks the door open.
Kilkenny stands there, a fist raised in midair. He lowers his hand, the agitation on his face replaced with his typical mask of indifference. His focus darts between Carys and me and he asks, “Is everything alright?”
“No,” Carys says. “But Durvla helped me calm myself. For now.” She smiles softly.
Something in Kilkenny’s eyes softens as they settle on me. There is no stoic indifference left.
“Let’s go,” says Carys, starting down the hallway.
Kilkenny hangs back for a moment, giving me a subtle nod.
He then lifts his hand andsigns“thank you;” before leaving me behind with my mouth gaping open.
CHAPTER 31
Durvla
I’m goingto be arrested—clearly Kilkenny knows that I’m an Undesirable. He admitted that he’d enforced the sanctioned banishment of Undesirables. It isn’t until the next day that I encounter him alone. He’s waiting atop Ghendor as I arrive at the stables. I have so many questions burning in my mind as I clamber onto Mirren. But Kilkenny takes off without a word.
There’s an incessant dull ache in my head today, the dizziness and nausea creeping in behind it, but I manage to keep up with his pace as he takes a path that’s familiar now. We arrive at the hedge maze and walk to the clearing without exchanging a word.
We stand face to face, the fountain flowing beside us.
“Ask your question,” he signs, and my heart races.
So, I didn’t imagine it! “You cansign?” I ask aloud.
“That’sthe first question you choose to ask?”
I track the movements of his hands and his lips. He’s a little slower, translating his words very literally rather than more concise signs. Still, he is surprisingly fluent. He’s going to report me and they’re going to banish me to the Wastelands. After all of this! I’m not going back home. It’s over. Black spots and waves of darkness tunnel my vision. The hair on the back of my neck rises, and that annoying tingle in my fingers returns.
“Find your center!” Kilkenny motions.
I almost can’t believe what I’m seeing, or that he’s telling me to control myself when everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve is rapidly unfurling. For so long, I’ve hidden this part of me. I’ve worked my rear off learning how to read lips, resisting the urge to sign instead of speaking as it became increasingly difficult for me to fathom what my own words sound like. My entire life has been shrouded in secrecy.
Pain swells in my head and chest and I realize that I’ve been holding my breath. It’s like I’ve forgotten how to breathe.
“Deep breaths. Find your center, like we’ve practiced in meditation. Your secret is safe with me. Knight’s honor.” Kilkenny’s hands move urgently, though some of his translations aren’t exactly correct. Still, it’s comprehendible.
