Hot tears sear my cheeks as the door slams shut.
I beg Lugda for death to come.
CHAPTER 69
Durvla
Seatedin the grass in front of me, Kilkenny’s hands clench and unclench. Alys sits to my right, and Chiyo and Osheen are a small distance away, sparring. He’s actually starting to get the hang of it now, deflecting her blows more often and even landing a few punches himself. I turn away from them and face Kilkenny, who has been avoiding any one-on-one time with me since I accidentally implied that I’d rather not have met him or anyone else from Mainland.
He slowly releases a breath, grimacing slightly. “We didn’t tell you everything because we were afraid of how you would react,” he motions.
“Well, that makes me feel so much better…” I pause, surprised at myself for even voicing such a disdainful comment. But I’m so tired of people hiding things from me.
“Do you remember back in Paramount when I provoked you during your first training? When I told you all those lies and irritated you enough that you’d be willing to hit me? You aimed to punch me, but what you really did was shove your powers at me.”
In that moment, I’d been so confused about how he’d fallen over when I couldn’t remember my fist making contact.Did you feel that? he’d asked. I hadn’t, but I’d thought I was just so angry that it masked any pain.
“Think about all the times that your vision went a little dark, or when you saw shadows that no one else saw. When you got angry with Carys the day she called you a waste of time. She was too preoccupied to notice, but I saw everything…”
That day, Kilkenny had been guarding the door. My vision had indeed gone dark around the edges, but seeing dark isn’t abnormal for me; it often precedes fainting. Kilkenny had glanced back at me and slowly shaken his head. After that, he’d insisted on training me under the cover of night.
I’m frowning deeply at him now. What is he trying to tell me?
“Each time, you’d felt something physical, inexplicable, right? A tingle in your hands? A buzz beneath your skin? A chill?”
I nod.
He breathes out again and glances over at Alys, who has been focused on me the whole time. Kilkenny turns back to me. “You’re not just a Dreamwalker. You’re also a Shadow Wielder.”
My chest constricts. “What?” I ask aloud.
“The daywalking is also not typical of a Dreamwalker. Not necessarily. Nor is puppet mastery—when you somehow managed to slip into my mind. There’s so much more about you that we don’t yet know. That I’ve been trying to figure out. But we’re finally certain that…”
He hesitates. I shift uncomfortably, impatiently, unable to stay still. “That what?”
“We believe you’re a Basduun.”
I jump to my feet, panic lancing through me. My head protests and I stumble back, my arms flailing. Kilkenny is up in less than a second, reaching out to me, but I maintain my balance and shove my hands toward him, keeping him at bay. “Don’t,” I sign firmly. I don’t want him to touch me. I hardly want him to look at me.
My heart hammers, and I try to recall everything that had been explained to me about the Basduunai.
Dark magic. Corruption.Basduunai were feared and usually executed.
My stomach churns. Even when magic was accepted, Basduunai were not. I swallow hard as uncontrollable shivers rack my body, cold dread dancing up and down my spine.
Alys stands, but I glare at her as well. “You both kept this from me!” My signs are tense, my lips firmly sealed. I fear opening my mouth because I’m certain I’ll vomit on both of them if I do.
“I didn’t want to tell you because I feared this was how you’d react,” Kilkenny says.
A humorless laugh bursts from me, and I stare at him with all the appreciation of a cantankerous house cat. “You just told me I’m a Dark Mage that may one day be hells-bent on destroying the realm.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You might as well have!”
“That’s not how it works, sweetling,” Alys interjects.
“Haruka said it herself.” My throat constricts, my hands shaking as I sign. “That the good Basduunai refused to use their powers because they feared corruption. That they pushed down their powers so much, they often went mad.”
