He studies me, his lips forming a thin line as he does. But the things I keep from him I’ve buried too far beneath the surface for him to expose.
“The offer is always there if you change your mind, Vari.”
There is a palpable tension in his voice, but I know he won’t press me. He never has.
I offer a half-hearted smile and a nod before he breaks into a run back the way he came. He doesn’t look back and I don’t blame him. He spent the last five years patiently breaching all my defenses and I’ve just slammed up an invisible battlement between us without explaining why.
I take a deep breath, the frigid air spearing my lungs, and I remind myself that this is all for him. Since Leanna sent him away, there is no doubt in my mind she will do whatever it takes to keep me away from the shadow master. If time and the missions she kept hurling at him did not prove to be a solution to her problem, she would take it into her own hands.
Despite the bitterness I felt when she sent him away so abruptly, she could never know the gift she had given me that day. For as much as I ached to say goodbye, I would never have wanted him to witness the wrath she laid bare upon my flesh because of our friendship. I know him too well to think he could let it go.
I will never tell him the full truth of what I endured that day. If I can spare him the guilty conscience that is sure to stem from that knowledge, I will. If it were ever in my power, I would do far more to spare him from even the slightest hurt.
CHAPTER 7
OUT AT SEA
Present Day
Iclose my eyes, taking a deep breath in through my nose, willing the tension from my muscles as I blow it out. The scent of rainstorms and wind fills the room. His scent.
“Relax,” he whispers, his fingers gently tracing the line of my hips where he grips me.
I unfurl my fists, meet his gaze, and give him a determined nod. In one graceful movement, Vakesh collects me, sits on the cot, and pulls me into his lap so that I straddle his thighs. The silk dress bunches embarrassingly high, and I am sure every drop of blood in my body is flowing into my cheeks. Tremors run the length of my spine as his hands slide from my hips, over the bunched fabric, and onto my bare thighs, his thumbs stroking softly.
His dark eyes are locked on mine, pupils blown so wide that it feels like if I lean in, I can follow those dark pools straight into the depths of his soul. I want to run from the room and beg him for more all at once. I am a tangle of nerves, teetering on the edge of the unknown with a man I trust with my life. Countless questions bubble to the surface of my mind andthere isn’t enough air in my lungs to form a single one.
Adjusting himself beneath me, he pulls me close until his lips brush the shell of my ear.
“Stop thinking about it,” he says.
Before I can argue, before I can think, his fingers sweep against my core, buffered by the thin swath of fabric beneath my dress. He drags a single finger across my center, swiping up until it brushes that tender bundle of nerves between my legs. My breath catches in my throat, and I swallow hard. A vain attempt to dislodge my voice. He grins like a fool, hooks his finger behind the delicate barrier between us and pulls, tearing the seams and casting the garment to the floor.
His hand follows the length of my thigh until he sweeps against the wet evidence of my desire, now bared to him. He inhales sharply the same moment I do, his mask slipping almost imperceptibly, his composure regained so quickly that I question what I’ve seen.
Why does he hide from me?
His fingers slowly glide across my entrance, teasing and parting me only to retreat and begin again, both taunting and promising. His eyes take in my breasts as my nipples peak against the taut fabric holding them in, brushing against him with every heaving breath I take.
“Kesh.” It comes out in a breathy plea as I close my eyes, resting my forehead against his.
With a slow caress he parts me, his fingers gathering the slick need between my legs. I want more and, without thinking, press my hips forward, my desire, my very nature, urging him inside of me.
He hisses and withdraws his hand. “None of that.”
I hold my breath, wishing I hadn’t pressed for more than he is willing to give. That breath releases in a sigh when he pushes his hand back between my thighs. His finger strokes in lazy circles, drawing up and rounding that tiny bud of sensitive nerves like liquid silk.
I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips as my eyelids flutter closed. My stomach clenches with every stroke of his finger, and his grip tightens around my waist. The darkness within me dampens, replaced by a need that quickly builds into a single blinding focus. It threatens to overwhelm me,but I ride it as it grows into a shuddering climax, the sweetest release.
“Well done,” Kesh whispers as every muscle in my body goes slack.
He releases my hip, gently brushing stray hairs off my flushed cheeks, tucking them behind my ears as I sway in his lap.
“Why don’t you try to get some sleep, and I’ll come back in a few hours?” he says softly, lifting me off his lap, smoothing my dress back down to the floor. “If it keeps your monsters at bay, you can do it yourself next time.”
The smile he offers me before he leaves seems forced, but maybe he simply feels as awkward as I do. Sleep doesn’t come easily, though I feel like it should. Every unasked question plays on a loop in my mind but only one really worries me.
Will this change everything? No. I don’t think so. It can’t.
