“I never took you for one of those silly girls who would give a man the power to break her. I thought I taught you better than that. Now, get up,” she spits through gritted teeth, taking a step back, waiting for me to do as she commands.
My arm trembles beneath me as I push myself off the ground, peeling my bloody face from the dirt, leaving a crimson stain on the floor of the ring. I have nothing left in me that I can call on to defend myself and she knows it. But I learned long ago that the punishment for disobedience will always far outweigh the momentary discomfort of my submission.
I’m not yet on my feet when the back of her hand slams against the side of my face, throwing me down to the ground. The jab is well-placed, landing high on my temple, and the world spins beneath me after anotherblinding shock of white takes over my vision.
“Your shadow lessons are over. The shadow master has already been sent away on a lengthy assignment. I’ve seen to it.” Thunder rumbles in the distance, hiding the sound of the whimper I fail to suppress upon hearing the news. “You are more than proficient in the way of the shadow, so there will be no need for your lessons to resume if he returns.”
My throat tightens around a strangled choke that burns as I suppress tears of rage. My mind reels, cradling that single phrase that threatens to undo me completely.Ifhe returns. I can’t tell if it’s a threat or if she’s simply stating the obvious. He is Drakai after all, and that means wherever she has sent him his life will be in danger.
Leanna crouches down and swipes the blood from my cheek with a painful stroke of her thumb.
“Do you see how weak he’s made you? This is where trust gets you, Shivaria.” She motions to my broken body, still bound and at her mercy. “Don’t let anyone comprise you ever again. Not even me.”
Her finger brushes the fine whisps of loose curls off my face, sending a fearful tremor down my spine.
“Cling to this lesson, hold it close. Because when you do forget it, which I have no doubt you will, and you decide it might be safe to let someone in, that person you choose to trust with your heart or your life, or something else precious to you, that personwillbetray you.”
She reaches around my back and with a tug on the leather strap my binding sags, releasing its hold on my arm.
“Go change. Then come and find me. It’s obvious there are some gaps in your education that need to be remedied.”
She hovers above me, and though I don’t meet her stare, I can feel her eyes burning against the side of my face.
“Kesh.” Her mouth twists distastefully. “If I ever hear you use such an informal endearment with anyone again, I’ll make sure they regret ever having met you.”
Rain begins to fall as she turns toward the keep and makes her way inside, leaving me alone to stem the pain of every poisonous word spilled from her lips. It isn’t the tender bruising I can already feel setting in onmy cheek, or the sharp pain in my ribs that holds my attention. It’s the wrenching of my heart as I contemplate life without the shadow master.
Rain patters my face, pooling in the crevice of my eye, running through the streaks of blood that paint my cheeks a shameful shade of red. The rain is a welcome mask, hiding the evidence of the sorrow spilling from my eyes that I cannot control.
Leanna isn’t wrong. The shadow master is a weakness, a distraction. One I selfishly keep because in my life that is only cold and desolate winter, he is the promise of spring.
I have no doubt he will regret knowing me after Leanna is finished with him. I tell myself I can handle his loathing, as long as he makes it back alive.
Looking to the keep, I force myself to my feet, bracing the rib I will need to have bound before finding Leanna for our next lesson. I don’t let myself ponder what the lesson might be. As I slowly make my way out of the rain I swear to the stars that I will do whatever it takes to keep Vakesh from her fury, even if that means I will never live through another of the shadow master’s springs.
Six Months Later
“Vari!”
The shadow master has been back from his mission for a week, and I have done everything I can to avoid him since his return. I’d managed to slip into the shadows the few times he’d gotten close to cornering me. I curse myself for letting my guard down as I venture into the snow-covered forest surrounding the keep in the early hours of dawn.
I turn to greet him. I won’t be able to avoid him forever. My stomach twists at the sight of his perfect smile. A smile he only ever wears for me.
“I’ve been after you all week. I heard you passed the trial of shadow and wanted to congratulate you.”
“Thank you.” My voice sounds forced, even to me. “I appreciate all the time you put into my lessons. I didn’t miss a single mark, and I’m sure that speaks more to your efforts as a teacher than to my own innate skill.”
The smile shrinks from his face and his brow dips as he takes in my posture and the distance between us.
“Give yourself some credit, Vari. You have always been an exceptional student.”
I dip my head. “I’m sure, now that you are back, you will find many exceptional students who are eager for your time.”
In fact, a great many students have suffered in his absence. Leanna’s vendetta against the shadow master caused many young Drakai to fall behind in their training. That she is willing to allow her precious Fea Dien to become weak to keep the man away speaks volumes about the lengths she is willing to go to distance him from me.
“I’m sure I can still find time to meet with you in the mornings,” he says hesitantly.
“Thank you, but I have other studies that require all of my attention right now.”
